Review: Mind Corps
Posted by Ana Mardoll at Friday, March 04, 2011 Edit
by Chris Hackett
My rating: 3 of 5 stars
Mind Corps / B003CV7VBA
Chris is a member of the Mind Corps, a group of telepathic investigators who handle the paranormal cases that the FBI and CIA just aren't up to handling themselves. Now he's on the case of an up-and-coming telepathic cult leader, but he may have met his match this time.
An interesting concept, it's always fun and interesting to read about secretive government agencies who use their special powers to protect the populace from abnormals criminals. However, I do think that this piece could use a little more editing and polish. The descriptions feel vague and generic, and the dialogue seems very wooden. For instance, when Chris and Phil are communicating telepathically in front of Darius, they are having a difficult time concentrating and they have very little time to plan, so it feels unnatural to have them babble on about Darius' level of power. And, again, when Phil is shot, the extremely long "no, leave me behind" dialogue doesn't fit the scene - Chris has mere seconds before being caught, so quips about early retirement just can't be worked in here.
I think you have a real winner of a concept, but that the overall execution just needs a little spit-and-polish. I would recommend reading each chapter out loud and asking, "Does this make sense? Does this fit the scene? Does this feel natural?" and going from there - I think with a little more work, this novel will be a real page-turner.
NOTE: This review is based on a sample excerpt of this book provided through the ABNA contest.
~ Ana Mardoll
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