Index: Time Quintet


Time Quintet


Source: The Time Quintet
Label: Deconstruction (Time Quintet)

Book 1: A Wrinkle in Time
11-03-2016 - Chapter 1: A Wrinkle in Time
11-04-2016 - Chapter 2: The Unloveable
11-05-2016 - Chapter 2: Different and New
11-15-2016 - Chapter 3: Waiting To Be Contradicted
11-18-2016 - Chapter 4: Give Glory Unto The Lord
11-29-2016 - Chapter 5: Lights For Us To See By
01-01-2017 - Chapter 6: Death of a Star
03-14-2017 - Chapter 6: Fond of Children
03-28-2017 - Chapter 6: Planet Death Bat
04-20-2017 - Chapter 7: Grammar Nazis
05-25-2017 - Chapter 7: Turkey Dinners and Light Promises
03-20-2018 - Chapter 8: Holding Charles Tight
03-22-2018 - Chapter 8: Nobody Suffers Here
04-01-2018 - Chapter 9: Cloven Pines
05-24-2018 - Chapter 9: She Wouldn't Be Able To Hold Out
08-07-2018 - Chapter 9: Equal and Same
09-29-2018 - Chapter 10: Thousands of Centuries

Note: Last updated 09/30/2018.

Time Quintet: Thousands of Centuries

[Wrinkle Content Note: Fascism, Hypnotism, Captivity]

Wrinkle Recap: After their confrontation with IT went badly, Mr Murry teleported himself, Meg, and Calvin away. Charles Wallace was left behind (but we don't know that yet).

A Wrinkle in Time, Chapter 10: Absolute Zero

When we last left our heroes, they were doing badly in the presence of IT and Calvin yelled for Murry to tesser them out of there as an escape. Murry was able to perform under intense pressure, probably because of the boost given by the magical glasses he was still wearing. Which, now that I type that seems odd to me; did Charles/IT just lose interest in those glasses once the plot moved on? I remember Charles lunging for the glasses, and Meg breaking through the prison wall with them and giving them to Murry, and Murry using them to escape with Meg but then... Charles/IT just lost interest?

*double checks* Yeah, that's... strange. I guess Charles/IT only wanted the glasses to keep Meg from Murry and once that ship had sailed IT didn't feel the need to close the barn door? But since the glasses are still infused with divine magic and since they (probably) helped Murry tesser the group off the planet, that was a major tactical error on IT's part. "Oh well, I guess you can keep the magic angel glasses, despite the fact that you're completely at my mercy in a building full of guards I own and it would be trivially easy to remove them from your possession." Chalk that up to villain hubris, I suppose.

Open Thread: Turtle Riding A Triceratops


This weeks open thread is brought to you by second hand toys, three legged dinosaurs, and the fact that my camera doesn't need a working shutter when it's in video mode.

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We have special open threads set aside for discussing various movies, said discussions including plain text spoilers.  These are they:
   ● Ant-Man and The Wasp
   ● Solo (A Star Wars Story)

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Friday Recommendations!  What have you been reading/writing/listening to/playing/watching lately?  Shamelessly self-promote or boost the signal on something you think we should know about - the weekend’s ahead of us, so give us something new to explore!

And, like on all threads: please remember to use the "post new comment" feature rather than the "reply" feature, even when directly replying to someone else!

Open Thread: Egrets


I can't be sure, but I think the middle one is up to something.  This is actually across the path from where the goats were.  Across the path, a bit to the side, and over a year earlier.  Picture from mid August 2017.

Apparently I used a different photo of this same group for an open thread a few days after I took the pictures.  I didn't realize that until I discovered I already had a picture named "Egrets" in my upload directory, but I'm not surprised.

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We have special open threads set aside for discussing various movies, said discussions including plain text spoilers.  These are they:
   ● Ant-Man and The Wasp
   ● Solo (A Star Wars Story)
   ● Avengers: Infinity War

-

Friday Recommendations!  What have you been reading/writing/listening to/playing/watching lately?  Shamelessly self-promote or boost the signal on something you think we should know about - the weekend’s ahead of us, so give us something new to explore!

And, like on all threads: please remember to use the "post new comment" feature rather than the "reply" feature, even when directly replying to someone else!

Open Thread: Washed Out Goats


Short version:

I know it's a terrible picture, but it might be the last time that the camera that's been getting all of the pictures for these open threads manages to do anything that's not a total white-out, so have some goats.  I think there are three four in picture, but even I can't tell for sure.

For the long version, story time:

It's been death-hot for a long time, which has prevented me from walking to my appointments the way that I usually would.  By Monday the temperature dropped to normal-hot.  While various factors conspired to prevent me from having the time to walk to my appointment, I was able to walk back.

I was surprised by goats.

I have no idea how long they've been there because it's been so long since it was actually safe for me to walk (heat and I don't mix) but there were goats.  Apparently there's a problem with some invasive plant or other in that part of the South Portland near-coast and someone finally decided to reach for the logical solution: goats.

It being late in the day, overcast (I think), and under the shade of trees allowed my camera to take a picture.  Two, actually.  (The other one was worse.)  While one might think that pictures of swans would serve as a more appropriate swan song for the camera, I remind you that swans don't actually have swan songs.  As such, it kind of fits.  (Also there were no swans available.)

This is not the picture the camera took.  This is the digitally-edited less washed out version.

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We have special open threads set aside for discussing various movies, said discussions including plain text spoilers.  These are they:
   ● Ant-Man and The Wasp
   ● Solo (A Star Wars Story)
   ● Avengers: Infinity War

-

Friday Recommendations!  What have you been reading/writing/listening to/playing/watching lately?  Shamelessly self-promote or boost the signal on something you think we should know about - the weekend’s ahead of us, so give us something new to explore!

And, like on all threads: please remember to use the "post new comment" feature rather than the "reply" feature, even when directly replying to someone else!

Index: Handbook for Mortals


Handbook for Mortals


Source: Jenny's Trout Nation
Label: Handbook for Mortals

» Handbook for Mortals Intro and Chapter 0, “The Fool” or “There Must Be Something More Than This Technicolor Dream Hair Life”
» Handbook For Mortals Chapter 1, “The Magician” or “That’s not how any of this works.”
» Handbook For Mortals Chapter 2, The Hermit or “Cifnaf annataz””
» Handbook For Mortals Chapter 3, The Hierophant or “Nothing Happened.”
» Handbook For Mortals Chapter 4, The Empress or “Star Trek Season 1 Episode 14 ‘Court Martial'”
» Handbook For Mortals Chapter 5, The Emperor or “Dive And Blush And Blush And Dive And Blush And Blush And Blush.”
» Handbook For Mortals Chapter 6, The Moon or “Total Drama High School”
» Handbook For Mortals Chapter 7, Strength (part 1) or “Rebel Without A Clue”
» Handbook For Mortals Chapter 7, Strength (part 2) or “Circus Of The Stars”
» Handbook For Mortals Chapter 8, The Star (part 1) or “If you’re in love, show me! Show me!”
» Handbook For Mortals Chapter 8, The Star (part 2) or “Have you ever noticed how much I say ‘um’? YOU WILL TODAY.”
» Handbook For Mortals Chapter 8, The Star (part three) or “Carrie, but with lemonade”
» Handbook For Mortals Chapter 9, Temperance or “I’m sorry that people are jealous of me…but I can’t help it that I’m popular.”
» Handbook For Mortals Chapter 10, The Hanged Man or “Internalized Misogyny, Rinse, Repeat”
» Handbook For Mortals Chapter 11, “The Devil” or “Readers’ Digest Condensed Boring Parts”
» Handbook For Mortals Chapter 12, “The Sun” or “Art Imitates Life.”
» Handbook For Mortals Chapter 13, The High Priestess or “The Big Skew”
» Handbook For Mortals Chapter 14, Wheel of Fortune or “Fifty Shades of Mac”
» Handbook For Mortals Chapter 15, The Tower (part 1) or “The first time the card in the chapter title was actually applicable to what happens in the plot”
» Handbook For Mortals Chapter 15, The Tower (part 2) or “This is the part where adapting the screenplay into a book got hard”
» Handbook For Mortals Chapter 16, Justice or “Girlfriend in a coma/I know it’s serious”
» Handbook For Mortals Chapter 17, The Lovers or “Shot through the heart/and you’re to blame/darlin’ you give love a bad name”
» Handbook For Mortals Chapter 18, The Chariot (part 1) or “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend”
» Handbook For Mortals Chapter 18, The Chariot (part 2) or “No One Is Responsible For Their Actions”
» Interlude: I read the Handbook For Mortals screenplay. It is worse than you could possibly imagine.
» Handbook For Mortals Chapter 19, Death (part one) or “Super easy, barely an inconvenience.”
» Handbook For Mortals Chapter 19, Death (part two) or “THAT’S IT I’M SETTING THIS BLOG AND THEN MYSELF ON FIRE.”
» Handbook For Mortals Chapter 20, Judgement or “Aptly named, considering what I’m about to do to it.”
» Handbook For Mortals Chapter 21, The World or “You’re never going to guess where the plot finally shows up.”

Note: Last updated 09/12/2018.

Narnia: Maximum Villainy for Minimum Efficiency

[Narnia Content Note: Child Abuse, Animal Abuse, Ableism, Mental Illness]

Narnia Recap: Polly and Digory have broken into Uncle Andrew's study. Uncle Andrew gave Polly a ring and she disappeared.

The Magician's Nephew, Chapter 2: Digory and His Uncle

The response to my Chapter 1 post was fascinating because I spent much of the piece outlining how Polly ought to be the protagonist instead of Digory, then named the post "The Magician's Neighbor" (Polly) rather than "The Magician's Nephew" (Digory) in order to drive the point home. I thought it was a nice alliterative bit of wordplay but what felt like the entire internet (but was really probably only three people) poured in to inform me that I'd typed the wrong word in the post title.

This may have been just reflexive "correcting people on the internet" but it struck me as painfully fascinating just how much we aren't accustomed to seeing girls centered as protagonists--it apparently seemed more likely that I confused "nephew" and "neighbor" than that Polly should have a book named for her. And I got to thinking about how the books in this series could have centered girls in the titles but just... didn't. Even The Silver Chair is named for a macguffin that exists for maybe ten pages before being sworded into splinters, rather than being named for the girl protagonist.

Anyway, Polly picks up a ring from Uncle Andrew and disappears in a blink.

Open Thread: White and Pink


I think this is South Portland in mid May.

-

We have special open threads set aside for discussing various movies, said discussions including plain text spoilers.  These are they:
   ● Ant-Man and The Wasp
   ● Solo (A Star Wars Story)
   ● Avengers: Infinity War
   ● A Wrinkle in Time (2018)

-

Friday Recommendations!  What have you been reading/writing/listening to/playing/watching lately?  Shamelessly self-promote or boost the signal on something you think we should know about - the weekend’s ahead of us, so give us something new to explore!

And, like on all threads: please remember to use the "post new comment" feature rather than the "reply" feature, even when directly replying to someone else!

Writings: Fantasy Realtor

Note: This was previously published on my Patreon.


This happened this month on my Twitter: 

You gotta feel like violent incels aren't a problem in fantasy worlds because they all probably try to summon a succubus, fail horribly, and get dragged to the nine hells as punishment.

Me, showing an apartment to prospective clients: "and the neighborhood is quiet, lots of high elves who keep to themselves. Oh, that right there is the summoning circle that got burned into the floor when the previous occupant summoned Lolth and mis-scribed one of his ruins..."

I'm delighted by how many of you want a D&D Realtor book. That may need to be a Patreon post.

The below post was scribbled shortly after. While giggling. I hope you enjoy.

---

"It's a quiet neighborhood, as you can see. Mostly elves and fey creatures who keep to themselves. The upstairs occupants are pixies so I mean, A, they weigh thirty pounds tops, and B, they have wings and fly. None of those stompy walking-around noises you usually get with upstairs neighbors. The last time I showed an apartment, the upstairs neighbors were orcs and you can just imagine.

"I should mention--it's really just the tiniest thing, but--the neighborhood folks tend to worship the Moon Goddess, so there's a wild hunt run every full moon. But honestly, as long as you keep your doors and windows closed and don't open them for anyone you should be fine. Personally always I've found moon followers to be easier to deal with than those elves who worship the Nature God; you never know when those antler wearing assholes are gonna break out a knife and a sacrificial stone. With the Moon Goddess, you're on a schedule. Put a calendar on the fridge, maybe get some stickers, and you're set for life.

"Oh, that brings me to the kitchen. Now you two are humans and this kitchen was originally fitted for dwarves. Well, that's why it's on the market, and not snapped up by one of the elf locals; they run pretty statuesque and tall around here, so the kitchen has been a bit of a sticking point with prospective clients looking to move in. But, if you don't mind me saying so ma'am, a lot of human women find they actually prefer the counters set for dwarven men's height over the ones set for human men's. Just try that out like you're chopping onions or something. Easier on your shoulders, isn't it? I thought it would be.

"Through here is the living room and-- yes, yeah, ha. I knew we'd need to talk about that. Well, the previous occupant was a single human man who kept to himself a lot. Lovely as a resident, always on time with the rent, but turns out he had some, uh, interesting hobbies. The burn mark is a summoning circle, obviously, but we weren't able to tell which kind. He must not have gotten the runes all correct when he scribed them and when they set ablaze due to the error all the detailing was lost and we were left with this indecipherable circular smear. On genuine hardwood floors, no less! Should be a crime, I tell you.

"Anyway, it's safe to say the summon was infernal-related; the clerics could tell the remains had been, uh, 'created'? Is that the way to describe someone's remains, as 'created'? Well, regardless: a demon did it. Or a devil; I can never keep the two clear in my head. Probably a succubus, based on the-- well, it doesn't really matter now, does it? Anyway, the cleaners have been over the burn marks twice and they say it's not coming up any more than it has, but you can hardly notice the actual blood anymore. A throw rug over the area would cover things just fine, and who doesn't like a cheerful throw rug to bring a room together?

"The master bedroom is in here and you're going to love how spacious it is, and all the natural light it gets. The bath is through that door, but before we-- hmm? Oh. Haha, well I mean. One of the previous occupants had a bit of a shapeshifter problem? I can't remember if it was full moons or new moons, but it was one of those. She didn't want to go on a rampage and damage the living room furniture, so she paid to install the shackles. They're really strong and fixed right into the foundations! When she moved, it would've been so expensive to take them out, plus they're kind of a feature? We do pride ourselves on accessibility for our cursed- and differently-bodied clients! There's no extra charge for them; you're free to ignore them or, you know. I can think of at least a couple uses for wall shackles, a young newlywed couple like yourselves.

"Oh! Speaking of, the master bath has a tub that fits most trolls. We went ahead and made that a standard feature for all our apartments, so you two practically have your own cozy little hot tub. Roomy for a human couple like yourselves; the pixies upstairs use it as a swimming pool for their kids. Isn't that darling?

"Water is included in the rent, yes. You do have to pay the city for trash pickup and disposal, but the monthly surcharge is cheap and paying it is easier than dragging everything out to the worm pens yourself. Plus if you pay the trash collection fee, the city sorts your recycling for you; you know those glass potion bottles aren't really good for the giant worms, and the wizards are always looking for bottles to reuse.

"Pets are allowed but there is a deposit in case of damage. No, I know, cat familiars don't exactly wreck the place, but we've had incidents you wouldn't believe. Three words: acid-breathing parakeets. Yeah. You can't imagine how long it took to clean that up. And, I mean, they were nice parakeets, but they were not house-trained at all. Dogs? There's one dog park up the road within walking distance, but I should warn you that it's membership-only after the hellhound incident. That was a rough day, let me tell you, but fortunately the clerics were able to fix everyone up. That's why we give a 10% clerical discount, by the way; it's just smart having healers live in you community, don't you think? I know it helps me sleep better at night.

"So what do you think? You don't have to decide today but I really should tell you I have a pair of gnome roommates who want to look at the room tomorrow, so-- You do? Oh, excellent! Let me walk you back to the office and we can fill out the paperwork to apply. Oh, the oracles run a credit check right there on the spot, so there's almost no waiting. Couple hours, tops, and we'll have a key in your hand. You won't regret this!"

September Newsletter (2018)

August is my birthday month--I'm a Leo, or so they tell me. I've never been very good with astrology. I don't seem to have the head for it. This year, August was also the month my husband left me. We'd been together for 8 years of marriage and 10 years total and he... just left. Moved out on my birthday. I haven't seen him since except to give him some papers he needed and a pair of socks which had fallen behind the hamper.

Most of you know this already because I've been bewailing on Twitter. I'm doing better, I think. I've stopped crying and have gone into a kind of numbness which I think is probably my body's way of coping. I've been picking up more hours at work than I can physically handle, but the money is helping right now. And my parents have come over every night this week to help me clean and empty litter boxes and stuff like that. They understand that being disabled is not easy right now.

I haven't done a lot of writing since he left. For awhile I was afraid he took the words with him, but then I wrote 64 words and I felt better. 64 words isn't a lot but it's proof that I haven't lost all of them. You can do a lot with 64 words if they're the right words, right? I tell myself that.

For those of you who joined Patreon or upped your pledges in order to support me through this: I cannot thank you enough. You are helping me more than I can say--I depend on Patreon so much for medical bills, for utility bills, for everything. Thank you. Please remember to claim your rewards (you deserve them!) and I am going to keep writing for you. I am. Please don't worry about that. The words will come for you. Because you deserve that too. Bless you all. ♡

If you're a Patron in the $25 paperback level, I have to beg your patience as I pull together everyone's addresses and the books they want. I ran out of physical books this week (thank you, Etsy customers!) and went to order more only to find that the at-cost prices for my books have either gone up or I made a maths error during the last order. Long story short: I'll be asking $25+ patrons which of my 4 paper books they would like, and I'll send one out each month until you've collected them all! It'll be like a book-of-the-month club and I hope very fun for everyone.

Now some links.

$2+ The Lost Last Princess of Ravelin. This is a three-part story which will be going up over August, September, and October. I really like this one and I hope you will too. It started with an idea from a D&D campaign about a disabled wizard and plays with myths, legends, and being propelled into the limelight by others.

$5+ Transcending Flesh, another essay for discussion and questions!

Lastly and again, thank you. When my spouse left, I felt so lonely. I had convinced myself that I had no worth as a person and that only he would ever care enough to keep me alive. When he left, I thought that was my last hope at life--but instead, I was lifted up by hundreds of friends and strangers. I have never known love like this and I am grateful beyond words. Thank you. ♥