Metapost: The Ana Update Thread

Sometimes I struggle with deciding how much to separate my blog-life from my personal-life. I consider many of you to be my friends, but it's also an almost "one-way" friendship: I get to dump on you but you guys don't frequently get to dump on me. That's not fair, but I suppose it's the way of things.

All that is to say, if you don't enjoy these "stuff going on in Ana's personal life" posts, don't read this one.

Also: Just to be clear, I am fine. Really. If I wasn't fine, you wouldn't be getting this metapost because I'd be hiding out in the bedroom watching True Bloods. This is me being fine. It's also just me . . . letting people know what's going on in my life because it seems relevant somehow.

Content Note: Surgical / Health Issues

Actual post below the cut.

A couple of things happened this month. (Has it really only been nine days??)

One, I've gotten notice from my doctor that my medical problems are more severe than we thought. It's not something I am ready to go into right now, I'm not dying or anything, so you don't need to worry, and I'm fairly confident that posting will go on as before. However, I am going to have to cut some stuff out of my life to compensate and, well, we'll get to that in a minute.

(Also, I had a whole rant about medical stuff that was going to go up Thursday and which I have decided to delete and not post because I'm tired of talking about Disability Issues for the moment. If Lady Luck contents to smile, maybe we'll get a Hunger Games post that day instead. Hoo-rah!)

Two, we've found out that my step-son -- with whom I am not emotionally close so I feel bad even mentioning this, but he's deeply important to Husband so this does affect me at least somewhat, but it affects other people significantly more and this is not intended to minimize their pain in any way -- may be seriously ill. His doctor believes he has something so rare that there has only been a few hundred documented cases for it. We are strongly hoping that his doctor is wrong.

Three, I've received word from my lawyer that the trademark application for Acacia Moon Publishing has been rejected. My lawyer plans to file an appeal, but it is possible that everything will have to be rebranded, which will be a huge energy suck of NO.

Four, in the past month, due to Acacia Moon Publishing interactions, I have been triggered twice. I won't say what for, because this announcement isn't the place to get into it, but it happened and I didn't enjoy it and it ended up being a time suck of NO. (I will also add that no one here was involved in these incidents, so no worries.)

Five, yesterday our stove died. Minor thing, really, but I have a service call coming in five minutes (or so says the automated phone call just now), so I need to wrap this up.

Ahem. Can I take this moment to reassure everyone again that I am alright?

I am taking steps to deal with all of the above. I am already in the process of being moved to a part-time work position to deal with one. Husband is banking vacation time in case he needs to leave town abruptly to help with two. Five is being handled by the soon-to-arrive service call person from General Electric.

Three and Four have prompted a difficult decision, about which there will be a formal announcement later, once I've had time to format that announcement. But ultimately, I am forced for the moment to close Acacia Moon Publishing for submissions, and I may reopen the group at a later date if the legal challenges are overcome and if my health improves and if hell freezes over. More likely, the concept in general (but not the name, because that's inextricably stuck to me and my legal issues) will pass to anyone willing to step up to the plate to moderate it.

I know that this decision will cause a lot of pain and sadness for a lot of people, and I really, really, really feel like shit about that. I hope -- really strongly -- that the concept itself can carry on because I really like the idea of said concept. It's kind of a dream of mine, and I know it is for a lot of other people as well.

But in the nine days since all this medical-StepSon-triggering-legal-issues stuff started piling on, it's become increasingly clear that I have to step away from this publishing dream. Not because I want to, but because I literally have to. I have a lot of dreams -- blogging, writing, etc. -- and this publishing one was the low one on the pole and the most spoon-draining and. . . well. I'm sorry to all the people that I will disappoint with this decision, as well as with the formal-and-less-personal-sounding announcement that will go up later tonight. I truly am.

Thank you.


Michael Mock said...

None of that sounds like much fun, but all together it really can be overwhelming. So, y'know, take a little time out if you need it, and be extra-nice to yourself regardless.


Isabel C. said...

Many virtual hugs from this direction too. Take whatever time and energy you need or want for yourself: I always like reading your stuff, but I like knowing that you're doing okay more.

Ana Mardoll said...

Thank you. Both of you. I really AM okay, and I blog because it makes me happy, so it seems strange to dump all this, like I'm panning for sympathy or something. I mostly mention my stuff because:

1. If I have to take off for a week to go see Step-Son, ya'll will know what's going on.

2. The Acacia Moon Publishing announcement will seriously affect some people here in ways that I deeply regret.

So I wanted to post a "here is why I'm being a big douche and bailing on you" post so that people could undersand.

Trynn said...

Yikes. That is a lot. I hope the doctor is wrong about your step-son.

Also, having your stove die is a huge pain. Right now only half the burners work, so we have to use a little cook stove. I hope yours can be fixed quickly :)

I hope your medical issues get/feel better/aren't as bad as the doctor thinks they might be (pick whichever fits :) )

unbeliever536 said...

Just want to drop in here and send you some virtual hugs as well.

The AMP thing is unfortunate, but if it can't be done it can't be done.

Ana Mardoll said...

I'm still hoping that someone will step up and carry the torch. I know several people who would be good at it. But it's not my place to volunteer people.

Still, if someone took the idea and ran, I'd contribute writings to it. :)

cjmr said...

*hopes Mr/Ms Repairperson was able help with #5*

Ana Mardoll said...

UPDATE: Stove fixed itself. While the repair person was here.

Ana: 0, Stove: 1

Randomosity said...

Ack! I hope everything turns around and no more bad stuff happens for a good long time.

Ymfon said...

Yet another v-hug from here. And congratulations on the stove.

Smilodon said...

Hugs. As many as necessary.

Also, service people possess a strange superpower, such that the mere presence of a service-person will force the malevolent demons that inhabit all complex technology to work. But unless you actually are a service person, this is a fairly useless superpower for them to have.

Brin Bellway said...

Also, service people possess a strange superpower, such that the mere presence of a service-person will force the malevolent demons that inhabit all complex technology to work.

Well, of course. If they admit to being ill in front of creatures looking for weak spots in the pack, the predators will eat them. (Or were those wildebeests?)

*joins hugpile*

Fenixmagic said...

Also, service people possess a strange superpower, such that the mere presence of a service-person will force the malevolent demons that inhabit all complex technology to work.

Yes! I always tell people that it's my job to intimidate technology (I work as a PC tech.) I'm good at my job. ^_^

Sorry to hear about the troubles, and I must admit that I was looking forward to submitting stuff to AMP, but hey - your health and well-being is waaay more important (and please don't read this in an I'm-secretly-condemning-you way. It really is more important to me for you to be okay than for me to maybe get off my butt and write. I'll do that anyways.)

Cheers and joining in the *hugpile*!

Akedhi said...

Adding more hugs if you'd like them! I hope things get better for you in every way possible.

storiteller said...

I'm sorry to hear about those series of terrible and lousy situations. I hope that things get better soon.

chris the cynic said...

My computer and the internet both got rather angry at each other, and I've only just gotten the two to speak to each other again.

So, a bit late, but joining in the hugpile.

so it seems strange to dump all this, like I'm panning for sympathy or something.

That's how I feel whenever I talk about depression or anything else going wrong in my life. If you can help it, and I realize you might not be able to, I recommend not feeling that way. It never helps.

Silver Adept said...

Another for the pile of "take the time you need, all the time you need, and the rest of us can wait (or go hang, depending on your opinion of us)" and big hugs for you.

As someone who lived for two years on a faulty stove, I understand the pain. And as the resident tech person and librarian, I understand things fixing themselves or reappearing in their proper places at the mere mention that I will be taking a look at them. Hopefully it stays fixed from this point forward and that the threat of the return of the service person forestalls all further mischief.

Rakka said...

When things go wrong they really pile up, don't they. I feel really awkward initiating hugs, but I hope these baby fennecs will help.

Amaryllis said...

Have another hug; store it among the leftovers for later use if you've got more than you need right now.

I'll be thinking of you and your family, and hoping things get better soon.

Ana Mardoll said...


Thank you all. :)

Loquat said...

Do what you need to do.

Also, these baby warthogs would like to offer their sympathy.

mmy said...

Ana -- hugs, kind thoughts, do what you need to do.

Sherry Hintze said...

Aw, man. Just saw this, and I'm sorry everything seems to be piling on to you at once! Please take care. Your and your family's well-being is far more important than AMP, the blog, all of it. You're still healing/adjusting from some pretty major surgery and the last bunch of stuff that took a run at you. Take whatever time and space you need.

As for feeling like this is one-way, and you get to vent to us while we can't always vent to you... well, this is your blog. Personally, if you feel like talking about stuff, I don't mind listening. I'm not the most comment-y person, though I am trying to pipe up more, but I'm here.

hapax said...

{{{hugs Ana}}}

As for self-fixing appliances, a few months ago I took the day off work to wait for the electrician because NOTHING WORKED in the kitchen.

Five minutes after he got here, he flipped the big red circuit breaker on the wall, which I had covered up with a spice rack.

The breaker wasn't as red as my face. Bless his heart, he didn't charge me for the call.

Mime_Paradox said...

I'm glad to hear things are manageable, even as I wish life were instead showering you with puppies and rainbows. Hugs!

Thomas Keyton said...


and baby otters (forgive my lack of Disqus-fu)

graylor said...

Aw, Ana. Just take care of yourself and let internet and book things go if you have to. You are more important than books. As for venting, pfft. That's what blogs are for. It sounds like you need a safe space to let it all hang out. Maybe having a bit of an internet support system is better than all meat space support, because if some of us here are running low on spoons we can just vanish into lolcat land for a while with no harm done to anyone.

I hope things turn out well for you and your step-son.

And in parting, allow me to give you a link to a... mm, not sure what to call it. An interpretation of the Prince Caspian movie, I suppose. (SPOILERS! ... for a book that's been out forever and a movie that's been out for a couple years, I think? ;-p) Sarah Brennan rehashes PC.

Ana Mardoll said...

Hapax, that is an AWESOME story. :D

Thank you all for the puppies and rainbows and OH MY GOD ADORABLE OTTERS!!

Graylor, that PC thing is pure GOLD. Thank you.

Husband just took me to Total Recall which I thought was a reasonably good remake of an old movie that I genuinely enjoy. So I'm very happy. :)

Jeldaly said...

All of the hugs, Ana :) We all love you. Please remember that :)

Cupcakedoll said...

Hugs from me too, and hopes that the general suckage will abate soon. As animals seem to be the order of the day, here's a zedonk.

depizan said...

Belated offers of ehugs. Hope things are better.

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