Review: Kingdom Two Crows (Steam)

I feel like I'm missing something amidst these glowing reviews. Here was my experience with the game: there's no tutorial, no text, no interaction with anyone at all. Fine, I can dig a silent kingdom management game. Characters cut down trees and harvest grains, but you have no investment in their progress because the ONLY resource you have to manage is gold. You pick up gold. You walk around. You find a spot that the gods have preordained to be a house or a mill or a tower or whatever (you don't get to decide!) and you chuck gold at it so your peasants will build it. The building generates gold and you pick it up and carry it around chucking it at new things to build.

How much gold do you have at any given time? You don't know; there's just a picture of an empty/full purse to give you a vague idea of your resources. If you get too much gold, it spills over into the water and is lost, so spend spend spend! No point in saving up for an expensive resource! At night, little purple ninjas try to steal your crown which will "kill" you but there doesn't really seem to be any penalty for that. Your silent workers keep on plugging, gold keeps pouring in, and your fingers get sore pressing the side-scroll button and wishing your horse wasn't a purebred snail.

Several people mentioned they play this game as a brainless timekiller in class? That's the only way I can see getting any enjoyment out of this game.


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