Film Corner: Seed of Chucky

Seed of Chucky
by Kissmate

I know Mother's Day isn't the same for all of us. I choose to end this day with a #KissmateWatches of Seed of Chucky, directed by Dan Mancini! Because topical! "Chucky and Tiffany are resurrected by their innocent gender-confused offspring, Glen/da, and hit Hollywood, where a movie depicting the killer dolls' murder spree is underway." Edited for clarity. I got nachos, my sweet lovely lovemate, and big bottle of soda. Let's start this!!

First impressions are everything, and our first look at the movie is.... sperm rushing to an egg that makes a CGI fetus with sharp teeth and an engraving of "Made In Japan" on its wrist. It's then born into a bright light and the next scene. We see a spoiled British child getting a present of the "ugliest doll" she's ever seen. At night, the doll wakes, grabs a knife, and starts murdering! Unfortunately, the doll awakens and it was all a dream.

Problem #1: The Main Character, Glen/da, has a running gag of pissing themselves. It happens SEVERAL times and is supposed to be seen as them being cowardly and awkward. It's just gross and unnecessary. We know he's cowardly from many other obvious clues. The living doll is woken up by the man who "owns" them so they can go on stage for their ventriloquist competition. The doll gets laughed at and is very clearly abused. (The doll's stage name is Shitface, ffs!) Problem #2: Made In Japan. Glen/da thinks they're Japanese because of the engraving on their wrist. Besides the later continuity errors, it feels very appropriative/weeaboo-ish. Like, he talks about his family possibly "serving the Emperor" or "being Zen Masters".

We cut to a man dressed as Santa who finds Chucky in a snowy graveyard. Tiff joins him in killing him as they both complain how he's not the real Santa. It turns out this was all on a Hollywood set and the two dolls are just really good animatronics. Yes. They're making a movie about an urban legend about two serial killers stuck in dolls. This isn't gonna be meta at all. (It is hella meta, so meta, all the meta, can't escape the meta.) We see Jennifer Tilly, playing herself, who is cheating on her diet and trying to get a better role than Tiff. Turns out there's a Virgin Mary role open, and if she sleeps with the director she's in for sure! Her assistant, Joan, laughs at the idea.

The Mystery Doll watches TV from his cage and sees news about the movie. When Chucky waves his hand, Doll sees an engraving on Chucky's wrist [MADE IN JAPAN]. How does this prove his heritage? Why is it so easily seen? Did Doll ever wonder if a TV remote was his uncle? Owner turns the TV off and puts a rat in Doll's cage for him to kill. Doll doesn't want to kill, though. Doll instead escapes and manages to hitch a ride on the back of a truck to Hollywood. Don't ask how. We're just given a map and a red line. It's unclear. We cut to Tilly reading her lines with Redman, trying to audition. He's clearly into her, but says that he's going with his first choice: Julia Roberts. Tilly isn't happy to hear this and decides to invite Redman over for "intimate" conversation.

Meanwhile: Somehow Doll delivered themself to the horror prop department in Hollywood and is now apologizing to all the monster costumes as Doll walks by. We find Chucky and Tiff "sleeping" on a table/dais. Doll gets very excited and talks to them. "I've waited by whole life for this moment! I know this comes as quite a shock. I still have the necklace you left me! (The Amulet of Damballa) What are these words on the back? Is it our family motto? Please say something! Is it because of the way I look?"

Problem #3: This Doll is so oblivious. They're written to know NOTHING about the real world to the point I'm wondering if they're only 6 months old, but they're supposed to be 6 years! Sheltered or not, some of this dialogue feels straight up forced. Doll realizes that the parents need to wake up, which the back of the amulet might do. Doll chants out the spell which causes electricity to chase around the room and bring Chucky and Tiff back to life. (Not the original doll parts, but ok. Need to have a film.)

Chucky wakes up and immediately makes fun of Doll's appearance. Tiff calls him an asshole, but Chucky isn't letting up. May I remind you, Doll looks like this: [Seed of Chucky-1]

This whole "so hideous only a mother could love" thing is... not landing? Chucky looks worse than Doll, by a mile! Doll is very androgynous, but I wouldn't call that ugly! Just... well, androgynous. ANYWAY, Doll finally shows the "Made in Japan" engraving and Chucky and Tiff treat this as if it's earth-shattering. Chucky even faints! Tiff is so happy to have a son/daughter/child of her own, but the reunion is cut short by a staff member walking in.

The staff man walks in to do maintenance on Tiff. When he unscrews her back, she's now got blood and bones inside. Chucky and Tiff work together to take his head off like a slice of swiss roll cake! As they look lovingly into each other's eyes, Doll is horrified. As Doll pisses themself, Chucky and Tiff argue over Doll's gender. Doll says they have no idea either, so they all pull Doll's pants down and see... nothing. No genitals, or pee hole, or hair. Just a pointy plastic triangle for a pelvic region.

Look, this scene is trying to talk about gender, but it's not doing it well. When confronted with the question of "what pronouns do we use" and the answer is "IDK", the immediate response should not be to force the person drop their knickers/boxers/tighties. When confronted with "woah, those genitals aren't something I can categorize", the answer is not to immediately force the person into a category anyway. The correct response to the above "IDK" could be: "Let me know when you find one. Until then, what can I use?"

Chucky gives Doll the name Glen. Tiff scoffs and gives the name Glenda. Doll (now Glen/da) seems to like both names. Before we get more interaction, Tilly walks in to get her hidden snack from Chucky's pocket. (Cheating on her diet, remember?) Tiff finds the staff's body and plays with it a little. She kisses the head and almost dances with it. "Wow, they make these so real! You're cuter than my last boyfriend!" Only on the second kiss does she realize that it's too real and screams, dropping it.

The paparazzi hound her as she walks to her limo. They seem cruel and pushy, clearly caring more about info of any kind rather than her personal boundaries. So, you know, like the paparazzi are usually. Tilly sits up with her driver, whom she makes out with, while the three Dolls' slip in the back. Chucky immediately pops and chugs the champagne. Glen/da proceeds to be Weeby as they ask if Chucky is a ninja assassin or hit men for the yakuza? Such Cringe.

Tiff talks about how Tilly is amazing and the perfect body to move into! Chucky says he'll take Redman's body. There's no way that the Dolls' would know about Tilly seducing Redman, but sure, he's a good pick. And a body for Glen/da? Get Tilly pregnant! For now though, let's get relaxed. Tiff and Chucky put Glen/da to bed, and this is where Glen/da asks a very hard question. Glen/da: "Why do you kill people?" They both act they've been asked why they smoke weed. Chucky: "It's a hobby, really. Helps us relax." Tiff says that killing is like an addiction, so they should quit cold turkey! Chucky doesn't like it, but he "promises" to do it. Also, his fingers were crossed behind his back. So it doesn't count anyway.

I will say this about the puppetry: It's nothing like the other films. It feels like they got the same doll for every scene. In the past, they had a different puppet for every need, and it made the dolls come to life! Here? They look as alive as Chuck E Cheese. It's disappointing. [CW: Whorephobia] As Tilly prepares for her date with Redman, her assistant tells her it's evil to "prostitute yourself to play the Virgin Mary" and "you're going to Hell". Tilly fires her almost immediately. Assistant is shocked.

[CW: Sexual Assault] Here's Tiff's and Chuck's BIG PLAN:
1. Rape Tilly with Chucky's artificial insemination
2. Restrain Tilly during pregnancy
3. After Tilly gives birth, switch all the souls around.

This is super fucked up. Chucky starts to jerk in a cup. A paparazzi journalist sneaks in for dirt. Tiff dumps sleeping pills in the champagne. The paparazzi sees the Dolls walking around and confuses them for dwarves, but in an ableist way. Gross, gross, gross. Tiff knocks out Tilly and Redman, drags them upstairs with Chucky's help, and then- ugh, completes point #1 of their plan. Tiff is acting like it's beautiful, but it's really not. It's very NOT okay and VERY gross.

Glen/da wakes from a nightmare, but Chucky's there to bond with them. They go out and possibly kill Britney Spears on the way to the paparazzi's place. (No, I don't know how Chucky knows where he is.) While Chucky lines up for a kill, Glen/da pops out and yells 'no' at the paparazzi. This causes the man to fall and hit the shelf where he keeps his sulphuric acid. The bottle shatters, covering him in the lethal acid. Chucky praises him, but Glen/da feels guilty.

The next morning, Tiff and Redman wake up in bed, but clothed. They figure they must have done it since they both remember a lot of screaming last night and nothing else. Tiff, meanwhile, is reading a book for addicts. She reads that she must make amends to those she's harmed. So she calls Bailey's widow (the first cop to die in Bride). The scene is hilarious and is worth a YouTube search. Tilly goes to Redman and tells him she's pregnant. He immediately asks who the father is. When she alludes to him, he says that he had a vasectomy, so no. He then says if Tilly is pregnant, she can't be in the movie, cause Mary has to be hot.

Tiff wants to kill Redman for being "a pig", but she doesn't want to fall into old habits. So she calls an addiction hotline. It's funny, but they're using scripts for someone who relapsed, not for someone on the verge of slipping. Maybe that's why she kills again. Glen/da sees their mother gutting a man open. Tiff tries to tell them that it's ok and not to tell Chucky. Glen/da's looking like they're barely holding it together. I think I'm going to pause here for tonight. Both of us are very tired and tomorrow is a long Monday. See you all tomorrow night for the rest!

Why wait for tonight what I can finish up this morning? Let's begin right where we finished off: Tiff disemboweling a director in front of her offspring. Wait, wasn't that supposed to be Chucky's ride? WHOOPS. The next morning, Chucky complains that he can't wait much longer in this body, especially for nine months! Tiff: "Silly Chucky. It's a Voodoo pregnancy. It's accelerated." Chucky: "HOW accelerated?" We see Tilly wake up nine months pregnant. I now realize that I'm watching someone's fetish movie.

Tilly calls her assistant to try and get some help, but Chucky ties her up on the bed. Tiff complains that she's too loud, so Chucky reaches for a gag. The photo he took of the paparazzi's death falls out, and Tiff isn't happy. Seriously, this scene just proves that the last four movies had amazing puppetry. The way these characters talk look like sock puppets. It's really depressing. As Chucky and Tiff fight, Glen/da screams that they feel torn apart. "What about what I want?!" Glen/da then explains that they feel like both a girl AND a boy. "Can't I be both?" Tiff is supportive and wants to explore her child's life with them. Chucky isn't.

As Chucky rants about killing being something that he refuses to give up, he hits the closet doors. This reveals Redman's body. Chucky proceeds to gloat that Tiff ain't so perfect after all. Glen/da, on the other hand, has a very twitchy eye. Since Chucky needs a body, Tiff calls Tilly's driver (Stan). He's tied up off screen. Just as we're getting ready to enter the finale, the assistant comes in to check on Tilly. She remembered the key under the mat, but not the silent house alarm, so cops are on their way.

The assistant sees Tilly and Stan tied up in bed. Instead of helping them out, she just stands there while Chucky gets closer. Before he strikes, what looks like Tiff swings by with a candle and hairspray and burns the assistant! She flails and falls on her neck. Chucky sees what-looks-like-Tiff crying, so he tries to console her. But in reality, it's not Tiff at all! It's Glen/da dressed up as Tiff!!

"Guess again, Daddy!"
"That's my name. Don't you wear it out."

Are we doing this? Fuck. Okay. So there's TWO personalities inside Glen/da. Glen: male, gentle, awkward, subdued, comfort-clothing. Glenda: female, killer, charismatic, manic, fashionable. She even says "I'm a bonefide bonus baby!" One of the talking points of this movie is how it discusses gender. In short: it doesn't. They dual-soul this character for the shock value and think no further than that. I want this character to be agender or bigender. That would be fucking AWESOME! However.

Chucky's reaction to Glenda is shock and awe. Tiff's reaction is not so graceful. She knows this isn't how Glen/da normally acts, so she slaps her child to bring them back to her. It works. Glen/da looks in a mirror and asks what they are with tears. No time to focus on FEELINGS right now! Tilly is giving Voodoo birth! To twins: a boy and a girl! You know it's a Voodoo birth because there's no blood, it happens within minutes, and- Oh, oh no, that's Hollywood birthing, apologies. They're so similar!

After the birth, Tiff points out that there's two babies for Glen/da so they don't "have to choose" (choose what? Sex, I think?). Then the cops come with full sirens. Between Tilly screaming, Tiff urging Chucky to do something, the babies screaming, police sirens, Chucky snaps. "EVERYBODY JUST SHUT UP! There is a limit to how much I can take! Look around, Tiff! This is nuts! And I have a very high tolerance for nuts. If this is what it takes to be human, then I would rather take my chances as a supernaturally possessed doll!"

Not going to lie, I feel this is the character himself talking to us and the writers. Chucky is NOT domestic. He's a slasher monster, not a father of two-in-one! He wants to be free to do what he wants to do! Get loaded and have a good time! That's what he wants to do! Tiff shakes her head and says she's leaving him. Stan gets free, and as Chucky goes to throw the knife at Tiff in anger, Stan gets in the way. Tiff stabs Chucky, but then we cut away to the cops discovering the assistant downstairs and a tied-up Tilly upstairs.

The ambulance takes Tilly and her babies to the hospital. All Tilly cares about is her babies to the point she doesn't care about her career anymore. These were 48 hour EZ-Bake Oven babies that were conceived and born out of Voodoo non-con BS. Why does she care? Tiff drugs Tilly so she can take over her body. Chucky breaks into the room Shining-style, but instead of "HERE'S CHUCKY" he says "I can't think of a thing to say". Really? Nothing else to say? Chucky shouldn't be worried about losing the ability to get it up, he should be worried about losing his one-liner creation ability. It's a shame to see one lose one's imagination.

Tiff chants her switching spell. As soon as she's done, Chucky gives her an axe to the face. Glen/da cries over their mother. Tiff gives one final line: "Don't make the same mistakes your parents made. Especially your dad." Tiff passes on. Japanese flutes play as Glen/da karate kicks Chucky into a wall. As Chucky charges Glen/da, they fly into the air and land. Tilly, now awake, tosses them the ax, which he uses on Chucky's chest. Glen/da chops off limbs, asking if Chucky is proud, which he is! Tilly comforts Glen/da as they cry over killing their own father. We pan over Chucky's still face and over to the amulet.

Five Years Later: A nanny complains to Tilly about Glenda. "Glen is an angel. Glenda... I'm scared of her. She looks at me with such hate." As the nurse turns and sees Glenda staring at her from the window, Tilly starts bashing the nanny over the head with the Tiff doll, killing her brutally. In front of Glenda. Tilly's eyes turn Tiff's green as she moans into the camera. The switch DID happen! Glen comments that his life has been wonderful. Tiff got her wish to become famous, Glen and Glenda got their own bodies, and Chucky isn't in the picture. Until Glen gets Chucky's arm as a gift on his birthday and it attacks him and CUT TO CREDITS! The End!

Question: When did the switch happen? Tiff didn't act like Tiff until maybe consoling Glen/da... The throwing of the ax? Was it Tiff or Tilly that told Glen/da to not become their parents? Whatever, this movie is DONE. This movie tried to be more clever than it had talent to use. At no point did I feel entertained (save Tiff calling the widow). The characters were either under-used or simply not made well. This is the WEAKEST of the Chucky movies. With nothing left to keep me thinking about this movie, I'm going to wrap this up. 3/10, Just watch Bride twice. It's a much better movie with a much better soundtrack. This film didn't have the balls to even try on good music!


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