Open Thread: What Twilight Vampire Would You Be?

Today's Open Thread is inspired by Gelliebean's awesome comment:
I would have loved it if that was how Twilightovampirification worked - whatever you were before the change, it makes you More. More beautiful, More average-looking, More self-centered, More caring, More shy, More violent, etc. Bella as that kind of vampire might become haughty, obsessed with personal appearances and staring into mirrors for hours on end; she might be neurotic, baking manically for three days straight in a desperate effort to buy the affections of someone, anyone who would tell her they appreciate it and thereby prove to her that someone needs her and cares whether she's even there or not....
Name one "good" thing and one maybe-not-so-good thing that could come from forcing your three-dimensional personality through a two-dimensional strainer. (Mixed metaphor or just dreadful analogy? You decide!)

I'll start. One major trait of mine is that I stay really busy. The Meyer-Approved version of this would probably be that I'm the one taking care of my vampire family by constantly modifying our clothes to be more "modern", forging our important paperwork, maintaining several "vampire sighting" blogs to spread disinformation and discredit the actual sightings, and generally working myself silly 24 hours a day to make sure that all my in-life plot holes were neatly tied up. (Sample "todo" list: @asap Convince Mike that my sparkling wrist was body glitter. @someday-maybe Learn hypnotism.)

The Dark-Twilight consequences is that I'd get so busy that I "wouldn't have time" to go hunting on schedule with the others (I have to get these passport photos finished!) and I'd probably be prone to snapping and gobbling down the occasional yappy terrier. Those things would be like popcorn for me. So I guess I'm trying to say that my single-minded devotion to Stay Busy At All Costs would probably disconnect me from humanity and lead me to have difficulty managing my vampire-y urges.

Your turn!


Ana Mardoll said...

This is a test post. Please do not reply to this test post. I'm super serious.

Gelliebean said...

I got referenced! Oooh, I feel special.... :-D

I hate to admit it, but I suspect that my traits most likely to amplify would be 1) mood swings and 2) addiction to books. I'm already taking medication for depression, which has leveled things out considerably, but I could easily see New Vampire!Gellie ricocheting from one extreme to another in the worst caricature of bipolar possible.

The other is already bad enough, in that I want to be reading books all day, every day, no matter what I'm doing.... Cooking, taking baths (in fact it's the sole reason I don't take showers instead, even though they're faster), watching TV; I've been known to read while walking across the street, or folding laundry, or playing computer games, and if I could figure out a way to read while washing dishes I'd do that too. It sounds like a silly thing to worry about until you realize that this is in no way exaggerated. My parents used to punish me for reading when I wasn't supposed to be.... As you can tell, it didn't work.

I suspect Vampire!Gellie, not ever having to sleep, would probably spend a week at a time not moving except to turn pages, with a stack of unread books on one side of her and the finished books piling up on the other side. She would obsessively haunt the bookstores right before closing, grabbing new titles without regard for author or subject; since the library closes before dark during the summer, she would bribe neighborhood kids to leave stacks of library books on the doorstep and take returns back; she would ignore the people around her to the point of complete social withdrawal until she needed someone to rant to about whatever she just finished. I also suspect this would amplify to the point that she would attack bad authors, similar to Bill taking revenge on Sookie's great-uncle in Dead Until Dark. Vampire!Gellie would probably also write obsessive, nit-picky letters to authors arguing about discrepancies between volumes and complaining about them not meeting previous standards of quality (Mercedes Lackey, I'm looking at you!).

chris the cynic said...

I'm not seeing a lot of good that would come of me being vampired. (Personality-wise I mean. Faster, stronger and less tired would probably be good.) I suppose the good thing about being human is that there's room to change.

I now have a bloggy thing. People said I should get a bloggy thing so I have. In theory, some day in the distant future I should have pretty much everything I've written in terms of stories up there. For the moment I've got 17 posts up, including four versions of the Van scene from Twilight.

Will Wildman said...

One option is that I would become Edward. Pick one person, become infatuated with them, and spend the rest of their existence guarding them from harm while completely failing to respect their boundaries. Another option is that I'd go Volturi, withdrawn from all normal society and losing all empathy in favour of enforcing my will on others from the literal and metaphorical shadows, turning their lives into puppet shows. There are probably others options; I may think of more.

Yay for chris and his bloggy thing! I am deeply excited that the Van Variations are now readily accessible at a central location and from anywhere in the world.

chris the cynic said...

Read a thing by Pliny the Younger about Pliny the Elder recently. The Elder Pliny basically never stopped working. One of the things that was brought up was that he would have a slave read to him when he wasn't doing the physical reading himself. The discussion of this, as discussions of slaves in Ancient Rome often do, basically ended with, "There's an app for that."

I think it was actually more like, "Don't you wish you could be that productive, well I mean you couldn't have a slave to ... well I suppose there are iPods."

This really has nothing to do with the rest of the thread.

Ana Mardoll said...

*offers hugs to chris regarding the book burnout*

Book burnout in specific and depression in general is no fun. Let us know if we can help in any way -- if nothing else, we can all suggest good books. :)

Amarie said...


I may be plagiarizing off of Ana, but I have to say that one of my main traits is that I’m *always* thinking. All the time. I have such a ridiculously active mind that I can’t even go to sleep without reading and/or listening to music. It’s very, very rare that I’m so tired that I can just plop into bed with a dead brain. I read *everything* from news articles to classic books and erotica to children’s books. I have to write at least once every two days and I frequently talk to myself, even if I’m not home alone. When I watch a TV show, I think about what I just watched during commercials (and yes I talk to myself then). When I read a part of a book, I always have to put it down for a few minutes and gauge my reaction(s) to what I just read and I ask myself *why* do I feel that way. Or, if I *don’t* like a certain media, then I think about that.

I’m always thinking, thinking, thinking. : /

That being said, if I were turned into a vampire, I think I’d be a female Leonardo Da Vinci. My poor brain would be thinking and questioning and answering and questioning some more. I’d probably have numerous degrees by my first century and hold just as many numerous jobs (especially in the medical and language field). With respect to Ana, I’d *probably* be her back up/apprentice when she needs to go hunting. I’d be developing all kinds of new formulas, disguises, creative cover-ups, etc. to keep our family/clan alive and hidden from the human population. The vampire world would know and fear Amarie’s intellectual name, haha.

On the bad side…

I wouldn’t be able to keep still. Because of my intense thirst for knowledge probably weighing more than my natural, human thirst for companionship…you could probably call me co-dependent. I’d be jumping from one relationship to another and to another; I probably wouldn’t be able to keep a mate for longer than fifty years. He’d want to simply have sex, and I’d want to re-do an experiment on how our vampire orgasms differ from human orgasms. Of course, he’d eventually get fed up with putting up with my intense search for knowledge and leave me. Speaking of sexuality…I would even go as far to say that I would become a full-fledged bisexual. My insatiable curiosity would show no bounds and I’d lay with just about anyone if it meant getting information. Soon, I wouldn’t care if that would create an emotional and irrevocable scar for both my partner and me. In fact, those very scars are what I would want to study in the first place. I inflicted pain to gain knowledge.

Though I’d have good intentions to start with…I believe my friends and family would be demoted and objectified to variables for my various endeavors for knowledge. I’d probably even hurt someone just to get a sample, test result, etc. Eventually-when everyone inevitably leaves and/or tries to kill me-I would turn to experimenting on myself.

Overall, I see a slow, steady deterioration of what started out to be a brilliant, caring vampire into a cruel, insatiable vampire. Ultimately, I lose everything that truly matters and all I’m left with is a brain that can’t nor won’t stop demanding knowledge. I would make the choice to choose test tubes and mathematical formulas over my fellow humans and vampires. Or, I would become so mentally unstable that I eventually wouldn’t even know I isolated myself. I am consumed and destroyed by my own mind. In the cruelest of ironies, I would be a blaring example of why ignorance truly *is* bliss.

Silver Adept said...

Well, if you forced me through that process, you'd probably see my knowledge and curiosity increase, where I could play all the games, read all the books, take a proper Wiki Walk through TvTropes, do interviews - I'd be able to achieve the great goal of becoming the polymath and retaining all of the weird knowledge collected along the way.

The problem with that is...well, I have a couple bad characteristics that are character-defining. One is absentmindedness / hyperfocus, which I suspect would be refined into weapons-grade mania and possibly myopic focus on whatever catches my Ooh, Shiny! The other is that I tend to emote a lot when it comes to self-esteem - either violently lashing out against myself for failures, or getting depressed at not meeting my own standards, or just as easily getting angry or confrontational with the person I think is the problem. Refined through the process, one might find a flagellant vampire with occasional streaks of great violence done to others, often over small slights, whose modus operandi often involves the use of very creative ways of causing the damage.

I would have thought something like this would have been going in Bella's head, but her optimism about how it will all turn out suggests the presence of authorial omnipotence.

Rikalous said...

Fistbump to all the bibliophiles in the room. I still don't understand what my brother finds so annoying about bringing a book when we go to the theater.

Let's see...given my packrat cheapness and the fact that I spend more time reading comments on deconstruction blogs than talking to people in meatspace, I'd probably end up a solitary, rat-eating hobo, dragging my pile of possibly-broken crap that might potentially be useful someyear along from library to library and wifi hotspot to wifi hotspot, wishing that the human race would just stop making interesting stuff for a few decades so I could get all caught up.

I was thinking about what Vampower I might get (super-memory would be fun) when I realized that, from what I understand, Bella is basically going to get the personality-based superpower of shutting people out. That makes me want to give her a hug.

Ana Mardoll said...

I realize we're a self-selected group, but I'm fascinated by how many can't-shut-off-the-thinking, must-have-a-book-handy-at-all-times folks are in this thread. I feel less alone, somehow, as I too take a book to the movie theater. :D

Brin Bellway said...

I still don't understand what my brother finds so annoying about bringing a book when we go to the theater.

I keep meaning to do that. Not to read during the actual movie*, but because Mom insists on arriving half an hour early to make sure we get the best seats. It gets a bit dull watching the same six trivia questions cycle on the screen over and over.

*Okay, maybe if it turned out to be boring. I keep a small flashlight in my utility belt for exactly this purpose (reading in the dark), right next to the Emergency Book.

Darchildre said...


I've always assumed, due to my general shyness/social anxiety, that I'd be one of the vampires that lurks in sewers and alleys and other dark-and-isolated places, rather than the suave seductive kind. If I could broker that into a vampire superpower, can I get invisibility-at-will? Or, at least, the ability not to be noticed when I don't want to be? Because one still ends up isolated by that sort of power, but as a vampire hunting technique, it would rock.

::slinks back to her gloomy vampire lair::

Ana Mardoll said...

Now I'm imagining, like, a Somebody Else's Problem vampire.

"Did you see someone over there?"
"Not my problem."

Only it'd really be not-my-problem-YANK because he's not there anymore. Nom nom nom.

Darchildre said...

Heh. Exactly. I'd get to be a fat-and-happy vampire without having to go through all the anxious business of talking to people.

Amarie said...


I’m not the only ‘think too much’ vampire! Wooooooo!!!

But I admit that I go one worse: I take a book to lunch/dinner. If I’m not eating with someone that can actively hold my attention, then I literally feel uncomfortable eating without reading. : /

Ana Mardoll said...

You are not alone. I take a book with me to dinner as well, and if Husband gets too quiet, the book comes out.

This is why I love my Sony PRS-350 so much -- so tiny and easy to carry around at all times. :D

Amarie said...

Ana, I love you! :D

I just...I'm one of those people that need constant, intellectual stimulation. It's very, very rare when I'm tired enough that I can just stare off into space blankly. : /

I tell you, my vampire-self would NOT be able to hold down a steady relationship, haha.

chris the cynic said...

Let us know if we can help in any way -- if nothing else, we can all suggest good books.

I don't know how much detail I should go into since I don't want to hijack the thread, but I'm pretty sure that wouldn't help.

Part of the problem is that I'm just not interested like I used to be. I remember being in a bookstore (this was a while ago because it was a Borders before anyone new they were going to collapse) being bored and impatient and just wanting to leave because there was nothing there that could possibly interest me, and then having it hit me that there was a time that would have been unimaginable for me. Not just usual or unexpected, unthinkable. I'm the person who, in high school, asked the teacher if I could read a novel or two instead of one short story for a "read a short story" assignment.

Yet I haven't had the desire to read a book since ... it looks like it was 2003 I guess (if I'm right about which book was the last one), and then I was only able to hold on to a desire to read books from a single series, with books at large having lost their appeal already.

Another part is that what sticks with me is the bad. Not bad writing, bad writing is pretty easy to let go of or find humor in, rather the unpleasant parts. The sad, awkward or otherwise depressing parts. A down ending can screw up my mood for an extended period, but happy endings tend to stick with me for a much shorter time and instead leave me to dwell on any unpleasantness leading up to them. The better written it is, the greater the emotional impact, and thus a really well written book can pretty much destroy any chance I have not being unhappy in the near future.

For some reason the same usually cannot be said of movies. A down movie can absolutely leave me depressed for an extended period, but movies that end on positive notes usually don't leave me dwelling on the negative too much, though there are unfortunate exceptions.


Definitely in the always thinking crowd. Well, almost always. If I'm not in thinking, Thinking, THINKING mode then that means I'm having a very, very bad day. And probably desperately looking for something to fill the void.

Ana Mardoll said...

Pretty sure it's not possible to derail an open thread, so share as much as you feel comfortable, Chris. :)

I'm so sorry to hear that, I go through "book disinterested" periods, but that's an awful long drought time if you haven't read any new books since 2003. :(

chris the cynic said...

I'm so sorry to hear that, I go through "book disinterested" periods, but that's an awful long drought time if you haven't read any new books since 2003. :(

That was surprising to me, I definitely don't feel like it's been eight years, but I'm pretty sure that I know what the last book I actually wanted to read was, and I definitely read the book in question when it first came out, and it appears to have come out in 2003. Then again, maybe I'm just forgetting something. It doesn't seem possible that it's been that long since I last read a book.

Obviously I've read other things, a lot of school related things (plays, poems and excerpts mostly, short stories as well.)

Pretty sure it's not possible to derail an open thread

Derail, perhaps not. It still seems like it's possible to make it more about me than it should be.

For example this thread ended by being me making some really long posts which I think was ok because 1) Will had basically claimed the thread for the topic the posts were on already, 2) the thread was pretty much dead at the time. I made those same posts here now, it would feel like a derail to me even if it weren't technically.

That said, I actually don't have much more to say, derail or not, since I'm sort of still in shock at the realization that it's been eight years. That's ... uh, yeah ... I don't know what to do with that.

Nina said...

I'm an organizer, so as a vampire, I would probably be the one in charge of getting stuff done: all the little details, the paperwork, the schedules for feedings and trips, etc. On the other hand, I can be pretty domineering about how I want things organized, so I would probably also be hyper-controlling about all of it. I would be like the family matriarch who oversees every project, delegates, and then does most of the work anyway because the delegatee isn't doing it right. I would rule with an iron fist and nothing would get done without my approval. On the plus side, though, it would all get done promptly, efficiently, and correctly!

And I totally sympathize with bringing a book everywhere. I used to get in trouble for reading after lights out. I would also bring a book to the dinner table and read until my parents insisted that dinner had started and I absolutely had to put the book away NOW. This is why I love reading small paperbacks - not as good for propping open when doing something that requires 2 hands, but great for tucking in a coat pocket or purse to read at every opportunity while out and about!

automaticdoor said...

Amarie and I would completely be the same vampire type. Man, wouldn't we all drive each other up the wall were we (that is, this commentariat) vampires? Or would we take over the world...?

chris the cynic said...

I vote world takeover, but that's mostly because I have some ideas about the tax code I'd like to implement.

When I am evil overlord the rich will pay more in taxes.
When I am evil overlord the infrastructure will not suck.

automaticdoor said...

And we would actually have time and energy to sit down for hours and days and weeks on end to go over all the codes and regs and statutes to restructure everything! There have to be other vamps here in DC/the legal field. (Of course, they're probably the kind who are writing the regs/etc. that are keeping all this shit the way it is. Ughhhh.)

Ana Mardoll said...

As evil overlords, may we be pro public transport and libraries, or are mobility and literacy pretty much impossible to work into the evil agenda?

automaticdoor said...

Wouldn't that count as infrastructure? Also, without libraries, how would we read All The Things?

chris the cynic said...

I haven't figured out where the evil part of the evil agenda comes from yet*, perhaps we can form a committee to look into that.

As for public transportation and libraries, ask yourself, future overlord, do you want your city to be congested or your minions to be ignorant? Of course you don't. Then some hero will show up and the weak minded easily swayed populous will be swayed to rise up against you. And what will you say in response? Well at least the trains run on... oh wait, they don't.

That cannot be allowed to happen. Our future kingdom must be a model of efficiency. The buses will be frequent, the subways will be clean, the rails will be high speed. What despot or tyrant would settle for less.

As for the libraries, I know that the prevalent theory is that you keep the masses huddled and ignorant, but I propose that the reason so many overlords find themselves surrounded by incompetent fools is that they have failed the basic education of their populous.

We will make our populous intelligent so that we always have a population of non-incompetent non-fools to draw from. Also, this should be helpful in saving us work. Can you imagine if every decision had to be micromanaged, better if the ordinary citizenry could take care of themselves most of the time? I don't know about you, but I don't want my time getting sucked up by local affairs, let the people handle it. That requires an educated populous.

Of course this risks them tending towards a desire for more freedom, which could be problematic. One way to try to sidestep the problem is with a comprehensive education of what the evil government does for them. The other thing is to buy their loyalty with free books at the library, and the return of Firefly to television, and free movies in the IMAX, and bread, and circuses.


*Well, apart from things being run by overlords instead of elected officials. That's evil.

Ana Mardoll said...

You had me at Firefly. :D

hapax said...

chris-the-cynic, I AM NOT ANY KIND OF MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL (wanted to make sure that was understood), but -- no longer finding joy in things that used to be great pleasures is one of the CLASSIC signs of depressive illness.

If you can find a professional you feel comfortable working with, I urge you to mention this. Nobody should feel such unhappiness. Nobody should feel such unhappiness is *normal*.

That said, I will immediately butt out of your life, except to send many virtual {{{{hugs}}}}} if you want them.

Rikalous said...

I think the evil part would come from the, you know, eating people. Keeping with the bread and Firefly philosophy, it would mostly be thoroughly nasty people who won't be missed. Such as those vile terrorists who keep trying to assassinate the First Citizens (Benevolent Pantheon? Lord Rulers?) and throw society into disarray.

chris the cynic said...

I think you give good advice in principle, but there are a few things. One is that I did try to get treatment (therapy and medication) and it was sort of good news bad news. The good news: basically nothing in the way of side effects. The bad news: nothing in the way of intended effects. Another

chris the cynic said...

But here's what I don't understand, if we control the blood supply why would we need to hunt? Sport? Vampires are too powerful for hunting humans to be sporting, so even if I did approve of my subjects being consumed of for sport I don't think that would work.

And, to extend this beyond overlords, if human blood is so tasty and nutritious and you happen to have access to blood, say if you were a high ranking doctor at a hospital in a small town, why not make use of it? Why aren't the Cullens drinking those blood bags hospitals have like vampire Capri Sun?

Why aren't the Cullens' eyes red?

Amaryllis said...

Rikalous: thoroughly nasty people who won't be missed.
Do you have a little list?

@chris: if you can write the way you do while you feel the way you do, I'm even more impressed.

Rikalous said...

I wasn't thinking about eating people in terms of hunting so much as capital punishment. That way, even hardened, remorseless criminals and terrorist dissidents end up serving the glorious state. I figured that human blood would be yummier and/or more nutritious than animal blood, and the Benevolent Overseers deserve only the best.

The Watsonian answer to the blood bags question is that Carlisle doesn't want the family using up blood that could be used to save lives. I'd note that he might be worried about "Where did all those blood bags go?" questions, but the Cullens are subtle like the nailbat. The Doylist answer is that she just didn't think of it. I didn't, until you mentioned them. I don't think I've seen that particular trick used outside of Hellsing, although I expect genuine bloodsuckers would come up with it pretty quickly.

@Amaryllis: I hadn't thought about it in any detail. Given that we could just make giving blood part of paying taxes, it occurs to me that it might not even be necessary, except for the brusque fellows with their garlic and their stakes who keep attacking.

Silver Adept said...

@The Vampire Overlords Coalition:

Regrettably, all issues are local issues. If one wishes to maintain good control over the populace, one must exert excellent control and responsiveness to local issues.

Public transit must be affordable and prevalent. Infrastructure must be maintained spotlessly, food must be plentiful, taxes must be collected in an appropriate proportion so that there are no popular revolts, there are no would-be John Galts, and all conspiracies are properly co-opted and put to the service of the Coalition. It's not micromanagement, but it is being able to keep the population happy by being the very best government that they want.

Which may or may not involve a Two Minutes Hate.

chris the cynic said...

I did get that you were talking about capital punishment, I was more wondering what the point would be if you, presumably, are in charge of the blood supply. Donating blood as part of taxes had not occurred to me, but it is a good idea. Definitely going to be added to the list of things we will do as evil vampire overlords.

chris the cynic said...

As overlord you want to be able to control anything, what you don't want is to need to control everything. You need to present the best government you can, but maybe the locals can choose the school board, which will have to abide by your rules (and if they screw up big you'll be able to step in and overrule them or arrest them or whatnot.)

Also, the more appearance of local rule there is the more of a stake people will have in the government. It is important that people feel that their voice is heard because if they have that feeling they have less reason to try to overthrow your evil government.

hapax said...

the more appearance of local rule there is the more of a stake people will have in the government.

Err, if I were a vampire evil overlord, the last thing I would want people to have in the government is a stake.

I must say, this whole conversation is reminding me of Mark Waid's excellent EMPIRE.

Rikalous said...

A couple ideas about early agenda items for the vampire government.

Once we've got a solid hold on power, we should turn some intelligent and sensible folks in the pre-existing government into fellow vampires. The ones that are useful serve as the basis for a Horatio Alger myth that anyone can work hard and one day become an immortal ruler. That way, the blood bags have a, yes, a stake in the government and aren't likely to try to put stakes in the government. The ones that go mad with power or are otherwise undesirable can be executed as proof that even we are not above the law.

Once the existence of vampires has been revealed, or possibly shortly before, we need to put out on the mighty internet a mix of truth, plausible lies, and utter hogwash about how to kill vampires. That way, if any would-be hunters manage to get past security, we can laugh off their attempts to kill us with poppy seeds and drop them before they can reach for the garlic (or whatever's actually useful).

We should also make sure to kick a puppy, kitten, and/or baby seal somewhere in the early stages. It doesn't have to be a hard kick, in fact it can just be a poke with the toes, but we need to make sure we get our evil out of the way so we can get on with more important business.

Gelliebean said...

I agree with Rikalous.... Much better to establish the "evil" part early and move on to more important things. That way, we won't be obligated to prove our credentials later by kidnapping heroes' families or cackling insanely at inappropriate moments or trying to es'plody the moon or something. "What, me evil? Of course I'm evil! Didn't you hear about the puppy?"

If we're arranging things to suit ourselves, I recommend also imposing regular check-ups and health tests - it wouldn't do to catch a bug from one of the humans in the course of feeding.

Randy Owens said...

Knowing my luck and aversions, I'd be the vampire who got the power of my head exploding around the fourth time I see 'populous' where 'populace' was meant. :p


Will hemophiliacs get an exception for the blood tax?

chris the cynic said...

Knowing my luck and aversions, I'd be the vampire who got the power of my head exploding around the fourth time I see 'populous' where 'populace' was meant. :p

You have no idea how lucky you are then. For whatever reason I've been having entire words being substituted for words entirely unlike them lately. I think I catch most of them when I read back over what I writ e before I post, but a three letter difference in an eight letter word is pretty small considering some of the errors I've been dealing with lately.

Consider that the previous sentence almost ended with, "the errors of been dealing with lately," for example. That's pretty small as far as the recent weirdness has been, but it's a good example for having entirely different letters, a different number of letters, and different punctuation.


Anyway, I fixed it, just for you.

Randy Owens said...

I hope you didn't take it too hard; I certainly see much worse out there on the Intrawebz. It's just that that is the kind of thing I'd probably get, and there were all these 'populous's, just staring me in the face... I couldn't pass it up!

Ana Mardoll said...

@Chris, I feel your pain. Lately, I've been substituting homonyms everywhere. TOW for TOE is the only recent example I can think of, but I seem to do it once per sentence some days. Makes proofing my work very hard.

Randy Owens said...

If my weakness/power were homonyms, would that make me a homophobe?

hapax said...

Amaryllis, that had me laughing so hard I snorfled my coffee. Thanks (I think)

Ana Mardoll said...

Seconding the love for Amaryllis' post. Now I'm trying to come up with something to the tune of "Modern Major General", but inspiration is not striking.

Darth Ember said...

Belatedly finding this...

Just about all sparklepires already have my main ability of any note. What I read, I remember.

Perhaps it would enhance my ability to write poetry and stories. Or maybe I'd be able to finally create things I imagine; as it stands, I can create incredible images in my head, but can't draw or write them well enough to live up to what I really mean. So I could stare at a page or canvas, and my mental pictures would render themselves perfectly upon it.

But I think I'd wind up being very withdrawn. I'd be a bitter, angry misanthrope with an aversion to sudden changes. Amusingly sarcastic at times, but generally favouring isolation.

hapax said...

Well, it depends on what *I* think is my "most prominent characteristic", or what *others* think.

I mean, if it were me, I suspect I'd be... oh, super-arrogant and hot-tempered (imagine a cross between the worst characteristics of Edward and Jacob), or maybe supremely nosy, with the power to supernaturally examine the contents of everybody's bookshelves and medicine cabinets and sock drawers...

But this is really just another round of the game my friends and I used to play, one we called "Pigeonholes." It consisted of rounds of "if so-and-so were an X, what kind of X would zie be?" with X standing for just about anything -- breed of dog, root vegetable, J-pop song, ecumenical council, you name it. The only rules were that "Everyone playing has to be pigeonholed" and "Nobody can pigeonhole zirself."

It was was kind of eye-opening, and not necessarily in a good way. I remember that one round consisted of "If you were a question..." and the person pigeonholing me immediately said, "Why Not Me?" and everyone laughed and applauded.

Although C. S. Lewis (remember him? Somebody was just talking about him) had a lovely version of this in THAT HIDEOUS STRENGTH, in which everybody getting dressed up for the celebratory party at the end got to wear an outfit from an enormous fancy closet; the only catch is that you wore what your friends picked out and thought looked good on you.

Okay, totally lost the point now....

Anyways My parents used to punish me for reading when I wasn't supposed to be....

hapaxdaughter *still* talks about the Most Horrible Mean Abusive punishment I ever inflicted upon her. For something or other (I don't actually remember the crime) I removed all the books from her room, and if she wanted to read one, she had to ASK me for it. *And* she was limited to only TWO BOOKS A DAY.

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