Twilight: Meet Cute

Twilight Recap: Bella has arrived at her Biology class to find Edward Cullen is attractive and polite, and knowledgeable enough to whip through the lab assignment as quickly as she herself can.

Twilight, Chapter 2: Open Book

   “Did you get contacts?” I blurted out unthinkingly.
   He seemed puzzled by my unexpected question. “No.”
   “Oh,” I mumbled. “I thought there was something different about your eyes.”
   He shrugged, and looked away.
   In fact, I was sure there was something different. I vividly remembered the flat black color of his eyes the last time he’d glared at me — the color was striking against the background of his pale skin and his auburn hair. Today, his eyes were a completely different color: a strange ocher, darker than butterscotch, but with the same golden tone. I didn’t understand how that could be, unless he was lying for some reason about the contacts. Or maybe Forks was making me crazy in the literal sense of the word.

I skipped this passage last week because I figured we'd already flogged the kaleidoscope eyes quite a bit, but it's probably worth repeating that Bella seems to be the only person in Forks who is quick-witted enough to notice the many strange things that are "off" about the Cullen clan. As we've worked through this deconstruction, I've been utterly delighted to read the fan theories which are -- for my money -- much better than the "Bella is just super interested in Edward" explanation that Meyer seems to give in-text. So far, I think we have the following theories:

  1. Modern Horror: The Forksians do realize the Cullens' nature and just don't talk about it for their own personal protection. Bella fails to recognize that her peers are wiser than she.
  2. Classic Horror: The Forksians realize the Cullens' nature on an instinctive, subconscious level and ignore the signs for their own protection. Bella fails at instinctive self-protection.
  3. After School Special: The Forksians notice the Cullens' odd behavior but are tolerant of families with food allergies and body experimentation. Bella fails at diversity awareness.
  4. SciFi: The Forksians don't notice the Cullens' odd behavior because Jasper maintains a constant S.E.P field around the family. Bella isn't immune to Jasper's powers, but she is resistant.
  5. Comedy: The Forksians realize the Cullens' nature and don't see what the big deal is. I mean, the reservation outside of town has werewolves, so why shouldn't Forks have vampires?

Am I missing any? I feel certain that I am... Moving on.

   “It’s too bad about the snow, isn’t it?” Edward asked. I had the feeling that he was forcing himself to make small talk with me. Paranoia swept over me again. It was like he had heard my conversation with Jessica at lunch and was trying to prove me wrong.
   “Not really,” I answered honestly, instead of pretending to be normal like everyone else. I was still trying to dislodge the stupid feeling of suspicion, and I couldn’t concentrate.
   “You don’t like the cold.” It wasn’t a question.
   “Or the wet.”
   “Forks must be a difficult place for you to live,” he mused.
   “You have no idea,” I muttered darkly.
   He looked fascinated by what I said, for some reason I couldn’t imagine. His face was such a distraction that I tried not to look at it any more than courtesy absolutely demanded.

I kind of love how seriously overwrought this passage is. Edward is clearly forcing himself to make small talk with Bella, but I really do not think Bella's first conclusion should be that Edward read Jessica's mind, thereby overhearing Bella's insistence that Edward didn't like her, and is therefore trying to prove her wrong. "Paranoia" is probably not a strong enough word for that when there is a perfectly reasonable alternative explanation: Edward is trying to make small talk because they've finished the Biology lab early, they can't yet leave the classroom, and Mr. Banner gets pissy if the students pull out a book to read while they wait on the other teams to finish. Occam's Razor.

There's also the very minor fact that Edward Cullen is a high school boy who may very well be heterosexual, and Bella is a high school girl sitting next to him in Biology class, unable to leave and with nothing to legitimately distract her from a pickup conversation. I'm not saying Edward is making hay while the sun shines, just that it's interesting that Bella ascribes all male attention from Mike and Eric to hormone-driven urges, but Edward's interest in her is made out to be inexplicably odd. Edward may be the prettiest boy in school, and Bella may think of herself as Sarah, Plain and Tall, but why is Bella assuming that "equivalently attractive" is the only thing that motivates boys to talk to her?

How many high school movies have been made about pursuing-and-winning the "new girl" just because she's new? Has Bella seen none of them? For all her "new girl" paranoia in the past 30 pages to just evaporate the moment Edward walks into the room is strange, and it's particularly odd because if she did acknowledge the possibility that Edward is trying to bed-and-dump her just to be the first in Forks to make the claim, it would go a long way towards explaining and justifying Bella's continual hostility towards him. Being openly hostile to a polite boy who dazzles you makes you look like a petty child who can't maturely deal with being the least attractive person in a relationship; being openly hostile to a polite boy who dazzles you but who you suspect to be a manipulative player is something else entirely.

I feel there's a missed opportunity here, and it would fit with the Meet Cute setup that Meyer is trying to create. "Meet Cute" is a romantic setup common in movies and other mediums where the creator is interested in setting up a new romance quickly and obviously so that the story can carry on without wasting a lot of time establishing the foundation of the relationship. The trope frequently depends on the romantic couple starting out with a strong dislike for each other and then coming around to loving relationship once a misunderstanding has been cleared up or they both realize they're not so different from one another.

Meyer is pushing a Meet Cute relationship with Bella and Edward because it's a pretty standard romantic trope and it helps set the romantic stage quickly (the idea being that the established hostility can turn very quickly into passion) and get to the heavier relationship stuff to explore -- something that Meyer is nothing if not interested in. And she's got half of the setup correct: Edward hates Bella with a good reason; she is an intrinsic and constant temptation to him, and her very scent urges him to murderous impulses which may expose and endanger his whole family. It's not her fault, of course, but it's not a bad reason to be unfairly hostile to someone, all things considered.

Bella, too, seems to have read the script notes and understands that she's supposed to hate Edward, but we never get a good feel as the reader why she dislikes him so. Her dialogue with him is almost constantly hostile, rude, offensive, and impolite, but why? Her hostility could be explained by Edward's initial murderous reaction at their first meeting, but the whole incident is played down in-text, probably because it's a little close to comfort for Meyer -- Edward is, technically, a murderer and that could put a damper on the romance a bit. But if Bella isn't hostile to Edward because he "started it", then why is she rude to him?

Why not have Bella misconstrue Jessica's bitter "That’s Edward. He’s gorgeous, of course, but don’t waste your time. He doesn’t date. Apparently none of the girls here are good-looking enough for him." way back on page 19 as a double entendre: the proud Edward doesn't consider any of the girls in Forks good enough to "date", but he doesn't have any qualms about wooing-bedding-and-dumping a girl for sport. Bella could remember 'the type' from Phoenix, and it would fit so nicely with her tendency to pre-judge people, jump to conclusions, and insist that she knows everything about everyone at a glance.

These are the misunderstandings that romantic comedies are made out of, so it utterly baffles me that the opportunity for characterization was missed here. Since Bella regards Edward with correct-but-implausible suspicion (that he must have supernatural hearing or mind-reading) instead of with incorrect-but-plausible suspicion (that he must be chatting up plain ol' her because he wants a new notch on the bedpost) leads me back to the conclusion that Meyer simply cannot or will not write misdirection.

   “Why did you come here, then?”
   No one had asked me that — not straight out like he did, demanding.

This is actually true: no one has asked Bella why she has moved to a town that she openly hates and which depresses her deeply with its cold, wet weather and crummy library. No matter what you feel about Bella, consider that fact and weep for her that not a single parent, step-parent, school counselor, concerned librarian, or peer (Forksians or Phoenixite) has asked her why she is making this painful relocation and whether or not it will make her happy.

The first person who cares enough about Bella to ask her what motivates her is a complete stranger who wants to murder her. Sad panda.


Bayley G said...

The saddest thing about Twilight is the missed potential. 

When I read the books, I was waiting for the moral of the story to be akin to Tuck Everlasting - immortality at the price of never growing or changing as a person isn't worth it, it's better to live a human life to the fullest than to trade away your most precious feature - the opportunity you have before you - at a young age to lock yourself into a glamorous but ultimately unfulfilling life. That was obviously where it was going - foreshadowing about making tradeoffs that make you miserable, playing up the initial temptation by making the Cullens seem too good to be true, the slow introduction of downsides that aren't really explored by the heroine (so she can make the wrong choice and learn her lesson) but which are notable to the audience, even a heroine who spends so much time congratulating herself on her intelligence and observation skills which the text does not back up (unreliable narrator, hubris)... all the hallmarks were there, and I was congratulating Meyer on writing such a subversive piece of work disguised as fluffy teen romance. 

Then I realized the moral is that Edward Cullen + Bella Swan = True Love 4ever, and vampires are better than humans in every way, trufax. End of story. I almost wept. 

Kit Whitfield said...

These are the misunderstandings that romantic comedies are made out of, so it utterly baffles me that the opportunity for characterization was missed here. 

I suspect it's the sexual conservatism. Bella's allowed to have sexual feelings, but sexual knowledge is a more doubtful area. If she showed too much awareness of the mating patterns of her peers, it might cross a line. It'd also show her capable of calculating (in the sensible sense, but still calculating) within the context of a potentially romantic relationship rather than just being swept off her feet. Too much thought, not enough feeling, is my guess. 

Chelsea said...

That really is the saddest thing about Twilight, Bayley G. So much missed potential to tell an interesting, genre-bending story. Meyers seems to be trying to write a horror story sometimes, but here come the romantic comedy a story that's also not a romantic comedy.

TWilight also isn't a story about people who are 'different' coming together to create a surrogate family, which would also have worked really well, especially since the Cullens have already done it. Meyers could have incorporated the werewolves into that family too, since being upset and horrified by the change in your child is a real, believable (if not ideal) reaction in parents. But nope, the people on the reservation just circle the wagons against outsiders and that's that. There are so many potential stories in Twilight, but instead it goes the most obvious route possible. It reminds me of the modern version of a fairy tale, where everything is general clean, the monsters are vanquished at the end, and everything is as it seems. But fairy tales need subversions or at least something besides "Prince/vampire in disguise sweeps a commoner off her feet" as a plot to be interesting.

Sue White said...

"...He doesn’t date. Apparently none of the girls here are good-looking enough for him."

Except for Bella, the first really hot babe he has met in hundreds of years of being surrounded by high school girls.

Chelsea said...

in hundreds of years of being surrounded by high school girls.

High school girls with raging hormones vs. the polite, uber-hot single young man with the rich family. The girls of Forks must be so confused/angry XD Or they think Edward is gay. 

Cupcakedoll said...

So Edward told Jasper, "My new biology partner, the new girl? I'm worried I spooked her out.  If she gets scared of me it might blow our vamp cover.  Can you give her a dose of un-scare?"  And Jasper says, "Sure, bro."  Edward is just making conversation to make sure Jasper's magic worked and Bella is no longer frightened of him, but she's giving off really weird signals now.  Turns out Jasper added too much oomph and what should have been "Edward isn't someone you need to fear" turned into "Edward is flawless." 

That explanation makes sense. *nodnod* 

Emmers said...

It seems to me that Bella's rudeness is not caused by legitimate hatred or dislike, but is defensive behavior.  Edward has clearly set all of Bella's girly parts aflutter since the first time she saw him, but then he alternates between inexplicable antagonism and pushy small talk.  This makes Bella feel confused and insecure (and she already has a whacked-out self-image).  Testiness would be a rational response, even if you were feeling all oogly googly inside about a person.  

Ana Mardoll said...

That's a good point: I can see it being a case of sour grapes a la "You are too good for me to attain, therefore you are not worthy of me anyway." I hate that response though, because it feeds into the girls-are-vain-and-irrational tropes. Gah.

Cupecakdoll, that actually made me laugh so hard. I am now imagining Edward being dreadfully upset. "Jasper, I told you to calm her down! Not make her fall into the deepest possible love that anyone has ever experienced! Gawd."

Silver Adept said...

Ana Mardoll Well, Jasper is having trouble controlling himself, as we see later on, so perhaps even with the regulating influence of Alice, Jasper's still not in control of his emotional-regulating ability.

...what if Bella's insatiable Edward-love is because she got full-on thumped with Jasper in a "My god, I'm hungry / h[bleep]y" mood and never quite recovered...and she latched onto the first vampire she saw. There's your Meet Cute, Stephanie Meyer.

Getting back to the point, however, I think there was also one more possible explanation:

(6) Stepford Wives / Religious Cult: The residents of Forks are all so wrapped up in the business of the Cullens, either through bribes, blackmail, and the odd "absence" that bring someone back completely changed, that there is no possible way for anyone to extricate themselves from Forks and the Cullens without the whole thing unraveling. Bella, being new to the area, has not yet been converted to her robot self, and Edward wants to get her into the family or out of Forks the fastest way possible, as every second she stays alive and unconverted is another second that could disrupt the entire operation.

As for Bella's uncanny ability to notice things and draw arrow-straight conclusions to the unlikely-but-correct options, we still are wondering why she chooses to stay in Forks, with a potential mind-reading abuser who will be defended by her own father over her, rather than say, "F[bleep] this! I hate Renee, I hate her boyfriend, but at least I'm not fearing for my life in Florida!"

Which could have been a nice bit of backstory there, too - perhaps Isabella is fleeing an abusive household, and then she apparently falls for someone who exhibits the same tendencies, because she thinks abuse is the best thing for her...

Seven87eight said...

"But fairy tales need subversions or at least something besides
"Prince/vampire in disguise sweeps a commoner off her feet" as a plot to
be interesting."

aw, I disagree. Fairy tales survive because escapism is fun, and because it's not unfeminist to want to be adored and swept off your feet. They survive because they're timeless, they address fears and preoccupations that we have with symbols that can stand in for anything, and because they remind us that any dragon can be slain.

They just have to be GOOD, which Twilight is not.

Loquat said...

falls for someone who exhibits the same tendencies, because she thinks abuse is the best thing for her...

Sounds kind of like the character Helen from Penny and Aggie - Helen's a wallflower who repeatedly seeks out people who'll use her, including boys who just want to sleep with her, because that's the only way she knows of to get any kind of positive attention. Unlike Bella, of course, Helen doesn't have lots of random strangers showing up being friendly to her and trying to make her high school experience more pleasant; she's pretty much ignored by everyone* except when someone's buttering her up so she'll give them something. I could totally see Helen falling head over heels for a hawt vampire dude the minute he starts paying attention to her - but she'd also have that sort of reaction to friendly classmates like Chess-Club Eric and Exposition Jessica. So ignored-wallflower-desperate-for-attention doesn't really work to Bella, unless she's cynically assuming everyone's a user and keeping her distance until vampire glamour bypasses her defenses.

*Whether or not title character Aggie's group offered Helen genuine friendship that she failed to recognize is debated by fans - she's shown spending time in the group's presence, but they're never really seen to pay her any noticeable attention.

Silver Adept said...

Loquat I don't see Bella as the wallflower-type, either. I do see her as the hard-shelled victim who instinctively pushes people away, hard, before they can begin to make friends with her so that she doesn't get hurt again by someone who she grows to trust and like. And then becomes infatuated with the boy that has managed to get past her shell by paying an inordinate amount of attention to her, even though that attention to this point has been almost universally negative. Because the only way that she knows someone cares about her is when they denigrate her and say how much she disgusts them.

...and we're back in Darkest Sketch territory. Did we ever leave, or are we just kidding ourselves?

Amaryllis said...

 Amarie: (nice name, by the way:))
Yeah, I thought of Pride and Prejudice  for this segment too.. And I agree that if Meyer was intending  an Austen reference her, it falls flat.

(Although I think if you look, you'll find that P&P is not entirely light comedy, much as I enjoy the happy ending.  Austen has some trenchant things to say about, for instance, the difficult situation of the unmarried woman without an income, the influence of money on marriage, the way the upper class feels entitled to run roughshod over everyone else, the danger for a young woman of that class and era of acting on her sexual feelings, things like that.)

Like Elizabeth, Bella initially reacts to Edward with hostility. Like Darcy, Edward sees his attraction to Bella as a threat to be overcome. But that's as far as the comparison goes.

When I compare Twilight with P&P, what strikes me is how isolated Bella and Edward seem to be. I admit I haven't read the book, all I know of it comes from the ambient culture and this blog, and I believe there are some  wider interactions as the series progresses.

But when we meet Elizabeth Bennet, we meet her as a member of a social group, We know something about her parents, her sisters, her aunts, her friends, her neighbors; long before she first lays eyes on Darcy we know something about where her "prejudice" might come from. And as we get to know Darcy, we also get to know his relatives, his friends, his dependents; we understand how his "pride" was nurtured. Their relationship with each other is important to them, but it doesn't exist in a vacuum. It's not the only relationship that either of them has,; their families and friends matter to them, the effect of the relationship on their families matters, the effect of their families on the relationship matters, the economic structure of their society matters.

But who or what matters to Bella? Not the father with whom she can barely bring herself to exchange a word, the mother and stepfather who are out of sight and as much out of mind as she can get away with, the classmates who aren't worthy of a moment's thought. Edward's got the clan, I suppose, but they apparently exist in their little self-sufficient bubble which, for whichever of the reasons suggested above, has no impact on Forks or Forks on it.

So okay, Austen was interested in social relationships and Meyer is interested in an exclusive romantic relationship, fair enough. But if you're going to use the P&P version of "meet cute,"  there ought to be some substance to it.

Chelsea said...

Seven87eight, that's a good point! I didn't mean to give the impression that I don't love fairy tales; Saint George and the Dragon has always been one of my favorites. I guess I meant that if you're going to turn a fairy tale into a book series, there's got to be something to the story besides just the romance plot. Beauty and the Beast was a love story, but it had messages about accepting people and inner beauty. (Random thought: Given Edwards excessive perfection, would Bella be the Beast in this story?)

chris the cynic said...

Oh dear…before I start, did I miss someone’s birthday? If so, happy [belated] birthday to that person!! I am so, so sorry that I cyber-missed it!

Thanks.  Thank's also to Kit, who wished me a happy birthday in the previous thread.


They survive because they're timeless, they address fears and preoccupations that we have with symbols that can stand in for anything, and because they remind us that any dragon can be slain.

We're supposed to slay the dragons?  Crap.  I thought we were supposed to save the dragons.  I could have sworn it was all about rescuing beautiful dragons from ravening princesses.  Though even as I write that, it seems to me that the princes aren't any better and surely dragons will have to be rescued from them as well.

But you're saying they're supposed to be slain.  I may have to reevaluate my entire decision making paradigm.  Before I do ... are you sure dragons should be slain?


I actually have nothing on topic to add.

Seven87eight said...

well okay, metaphorical dragons that represent the fears and worries and setbacks that aren't as easy to get past in the real world as they are in the tales. Dragons that are characters in their own right probably shouldn't be slain. Nitpicker :P

Amarie said...

To Chris:
You’re very welcome! I hope your birthday was very enjoyable in real life. I’m sure that we can spare a few dragons in fairy tales…just for your birthday. Haha. :D
To Amaryllis:
Thank you! I’m glad you like my name, haha.
I completely agree with you; a large part of the reason why the comparison doesn’t work is because Edward and Bella are all but indifferent to the social ‘castes’ and expectations that they find themselves in. I would even go as far to say that Mrs. Meyer purposely ignores it...she’d rather get to that meadow scene as quickly as possible than actually build a good backdrop, setting, etc.
This is also one of the reasons why the ‘mortal to immortal’ dilemma doesn’t work; Bella quite simply doesn’t care. And, consequently, it looks to be that no one truly cares about her. So, as the audience, we don’t really feel that ‘devotion’ from Bella to Edward because she has nothing to lose to begin with. The ‘dilemma’ just feels like one big hyperbole that’s stretched out and dubbed ‘Edward’s morality’.
As far as what I said about “Pride and Prejudice” being a light comedy, I didn’t mean to sound ignorant of the true dangers that women faced in Regency England. My apologies. What I meant was that-compared to modern day Twilight-the issues that are being dealt with are openly and knowingly included by Austen. Mrs. Meyer, on the other hand, consistently seems blind to the disturbances in her novels. So (in my eyes, at least) that contrast of aware vs. unaware makes “Pride and Prejudice” seem lighter to me. And Twilight seems much darker, though it sadly attempts to mimic that lightness.
To Chelsea & Seven87eight:
Awesome analysis on whether or not Twilight is a fairy tale. Personally, Beauty and the Beast is my F.A.V.O.R.I.T.E. In my eyes, it’s the perfect combination (in certain versions) of child-like simplicity and deep, deep morals.
Honestly…I don’t think that Bella could be the beast, though. The point of the beast is to show that true beauty is found on the inside. And, well…Bella doesn’t really seem to have any of that true beauty. Nor does Edward. They both are exactly as they appear. Although…if I HAD to make an analogy…Edward could probably be Gaston.

Amaryllis said...

@f1043c4bb11c714c8533ef3880d6d9f2 : And on my part, I didn't mean to sound condescending. It was probably a reflexive reaction after hearing Austen's works described as "the original chick lit" entirely too many times-- but that's not what you said! Apologies in turn.

So you feel that Twilight's blindness to its underlying issues is what makes it "dark"?  As in, your heroine can't watch out for dangers that she insists on remaining unaware of? You've got a point. As the old people used to say, sunshine is the best medicine.

Will Wildman said...

As a variant on the 'Modern Horror' explanation at the beginning of the post, I think there's an option wherein the Cullens have the respect/fear of Forks and substantial hidden control, mob-style, but no one actually knows what they are.  It's easy to figure out how to blackmail people when you can read their minds, and if they haven't done anything blackmailable yet, again the mindreading and emotionpushing should make that a brief and interesting exercise to solve.  In fact, tying in with the Food Money Jar of Contrivances earlier, I think it'd be especially fun if the way the Cullens got Charlie under their control was to push him into demanding bribes from the Forksians and then threaten to reveal he was taking bribes.  I would so read that prequel.

Once you have Charlie Swan and enough doctors under your perfectly-manicured thumb, it's easy to make sure that any vampire attacks get passed off as animal attacks or baking accidents or what have you.  Or, even more efficiently, see to it that you don't need to attack anyone because you can just imply that they could be the next accident-that-gets-covered-up.  (Like Batman: when confronted by a villain who accurately points out that the Batman never kills, he counters that there are plenty of unsolved murders in Gotham, and if anyone is going to get away with murder, it's Batman.)

The high school kids wouldn't logically know as much as their parents about this - they've just been told that the Cullens are Very Nice People who should be allowed their space to do as they like, For The Love Of Dogs, Please Don't Bother Them, we swear they are Very Nice People.


This scene almost worked for me (if rather slapdashfully) at first, until I remembered that it comes after all the parts of the book we've already read.  And I can't figure out how that functions at all - my brain just dismisses everything up to this point or says "Okay, they met once before and it was weird, but I guess it wasn't all that weird?"

It's sort of a broad strokes situation, where I feel like the book up to this point must be someone's fabricated elaboration on Bella's actual three-sentence summary.  It's like a sequel to a movie that quietly hints that the original movie didn't quite happen that way, the way we saw on film, it was just sort of like that, because we have a new idea for the story we want to tell and if that means the occasional continuity implosion, so be it.


I may have to reevaluate my entire decision making paradigm.  Before I do ... are you sure dragons should be slain?

I find it's best to evaluate dragons as they come along, individually-like.  The dragon who has devoured a king, transformed himself into a duplicate, and is now operating his kingdom as a puppet state for the evil mold-entity that infested the once-great land of Calaxer?  Make with the slaying.  The young dragonboy who is kept as a bargaining chip, since the greatest possible status symbol an aristocrat can have is their own personal dragon-slave to be trotted out as an art piece for sufficiently appreciative visitors?  Probably needs a hug.

Chelsea said...

Edward could probably be Gaston.

I will give a thousand Internets to the person who makes up a song about Edward to the tune of 'Gaston' from the Disney Beauty and the Beast.

And all the talk of whether you should slay dragons or hug them is part of the reason why fairy tales are timeless and beloved, and demonstrate why Twilight isn't even a very good fairy tale. Fairy tales are simple stories that people can add layers to, and there can be a thousand different interpretations of that very simple story. So in the dragon vs. knight story:

In the straightforward version: the dragon is evil because it's a dragon and it eats people. The knight is good because he's fighting evil, has pure intentions, and is trying to save the princess. The princess falls in love with the knight because he risked his life for her.

In the metaphorical version: the dragon represents evil/personal hardship/running out of cookies/whatever you want it to be, and the knight slaying it represents overcoming that obstacle. The princess is the reward at the end of it. 

In the subversion: the dragon is actually a good guy, the princess ran away from an abusive arranged marriage, the knight is a fame-hungry jerk who doesn't care who he hurts, and the whole story actually has a huge Downer Ending.

Twilight, oddly enough, is too complicated and detailed to give the reader the freedom to play and add those extra layers. They can, obviously, (we've been doing that nonstop XD), but there will always be something in the original text to say "Nope, things are exactly as they seem." 

Amarie said...

At Amaryllis:
Oh, it’s quite alright! I didn’t think you were condescending at all. On the contrary, I should have clarified, haha. It’s alright, now.
And yes, I feel that Twilight is exceptionally dark, especially compared to “Pride and Prejudice”. It’s simply ludicrous (to be generous) that Mrs. Meyer doesn’t see the disturbing dysfunction in her books. What is darker is that so many of her fans don’t see it, either. To them, this is all but ideal; this is the owner’s manual to a good, healthy, and fulfilling life.
And, to me, that’s the scariest part of all.
At The Dread Pirate Matt:
How. Dare. You!
*readies Matthew Macfayden army to take down Colin Firth army in a huge, conquering sweep* Onwards to battle we shall go, sir! *war cry* D:<
Just kidding, haha. ;)
Hmm…Mrs. Meyer and collecting material. Huh. She’s proven that she’s not the best at…research. And, if anything, the way she ‘bases’ her books off of classical works is...depressing, to say the least. It’s almost as though she merely took the barest surface level of whatever work she was referencing, and that’s it. To me, it’s sort of a disrespect to reference a classical work of literature, and not utilize that reference well. It's almost like literal hubris. If you’re going to have the gall to compare and base your work off of a truly great piece of literature…then you’d better be confident that your own writing is up to par. Please.
At Will Wildman:
Have you seen “How to Train Your Dragon”, by any chance? Now, that is a good argument for not slaying dragons. Hiccup and Toothless are the CUTEST!! :D
At Chelsea:
Alas, I have no musical creative juices for such a feat. Forgive me. : (
I agree with you! Like Bayley G said, [one of] the saddest things about Twilight is the missed potential. To me, it’s a terrible paradox where the writing is concerned; it’s is so incredibly juvenile and simplistic. Yet, it’s not a fairy tale because what you see is what you get. There’s nothing more to the story; there’s no room for interpretation, unlike a good, solid fairy tale.
So, I agree. It is sad.

Will Wildman said...

I will give a thousand Internets to the person who makes up a song about Edward to the tune of 'Gaston' from the Disney Beauty and the Beast.
Just for the record, I will be doing this as soon as possible.  I looked up the lyrics and it is begging for transformation.  At first I thought 'what rhymes with sparkle? this is impossible!' but then inspiration struck.

Dav said...

. . . patriarchal?

Gelliebean said...

(Starting with Lafoue's "gosh it disturbs me" line)

Lurking about in the shadows of night
Peeking through windows and doors
Letting himself in while Bella's asleep
Listening to the girl snore

He's one-seventeen, but he wears it so well
You'd never guess he was that old!
His skin is so chilled, and his hair is a mess
And his eyes...  might be amber....  or goooooooold....


He will say that he hates
our depressed little miss
And then tell her he loves her
While blocking a kiss

So he's keeping her constantly guessing
Playing his tricks with her mind
While his marital suit he is pressing
She just wants to get her hands on his bare behind

He'll forbid her her friends
Lock her up in his house
The control never ends
Who wants this for a spouse?

But she's dazzled by all of his beauty
(Perfect, a pure paragon)
While he tries to ignore her for duty
She will chase him in hopes of just gettin' it on

Err....  Yeah, that's as far as I got.  ^_^;

(As a side note, my little brother used to ask for 'compromised' songs when I would put him to bed.... :-p)

Ana Mardoll said...

*applauds with delight*

That was wonderful!

Gelliebean said...

:-D  I should probably admit that I spent my whole drive home from work pondering the possibilities of "Twilight: The Musical" and trying to turn "Little Town" into Bella's rant against Forks.  :-P

Chelsea said...

Where would you like your thousands of Internets delivered, good sir/madame? XD

Very nice!

Gelliebean said...

I'd say to ship them to me here in Austin, but I'm afraid they might melt....  :-( 

Very glad you liked it!  I can't wait to see what Will comes up with, too!

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