Film Corner: 27 Dresses

By popular demand -- by which I mean "because I felt like it" -- I've decided to do film remakes of romantic comedy films I haven't seen based purely on the trailers. Which means that I might be clobbering the really good messages that were actually in the film that I didn't see anything of except the trailer! But I'm okay with that! My feeling is that if the film industry is going to keep bombarding me with film trailers, then I have the right to spoof them! Joke's on you, film industry!

So first up is a classic -- by which I mean it came out in veritable ice age of 2008 and if you can remember that far back you are Officially Old like me -- that keeps coming up on several DVDs I own for no apparent reason that I can see except that apparently 20th Century Fox thinks that if you like some 20th Century Fox films, you might like all of them, regardless of genre! Of course you would! Here is a trailer:



Remake time!

Male Love Interest: You've been a bridesmaid twenty-seven times?!

Heroine: Yes, and I feel blessed to have had so many wonderful friends who felt close enough to me to ask me to participate in their major life-altering moments. Though a few of them may have asked me more for my bridesmaid experience than for my friendship -- thus gaining a free wedding planner in the bargain and using me unfairly -- and while I am learning to say no and express my boundaries more assertively over time as I age, I've nevertheless gained a number of fun memories and valuable experiences and I have no real regrets. Indeed, I think I will leverage those moments and my vast experience into a new and fulfilling career as a paid wedding planner, which will additionally work out well for me since my younger sister is marrying my boss on whom I have a perfectly natural but probably unhealthy crush on, so a career change at this time will almost certainly be helpful in giving me time and space to work through my complex feelings on the subject of their marriage and to dismantle the troublesome crush.

Male Love Interest: Would you like to transfer the crush to me?

Heroine: No, you seem like the type who would aggressively argue with and irritatingly play "devil's advocate" about the value of major and deeply personal life decisions with a woman who has recently suffered head trauma. That's grody behavior and you are grody to engage in it. Furthermore, I outright reject the stereotype that being a bridesmaid is somehow "less than" being a bride. I support my twenty-seven married girlfriends in their choices and I'm deeply happy that they are content with their lives, but the fact that I myself am unmarried does not suggest that I am broken or incomplete or dissatisfied. 

Male Love Interest: Fair enough.

THE END!

35 comments:

AnnaLK said...

Ooh, rewrites! Can I play? (By which I mean, "steal some of your dialogue, but re-rewrite it such that we still get a relationship out at the end... just not in the way the original intended):

Male Love Interest: You've been a bridesmaid twenty-seven times?!

Heroine: Yes, and I feel blessed to have had so many wonderful friends who felt close enough to me to ask me to participate in their major life-altering moments. Though a few of them may have asked me more for my bridesmaid experience than for my friendship -- thus gaining a free wedding planner in the bargain and using me unfairly -- and while I am learning to say no and express my boundaries more assertively over time as I age, I've nevertheless gained a number of fun memories and valuable experiences and I have no real regrets. Indeed, I think I will leverage those moments and my vast experience into a new and fulfilling career as a paid wedding planner, which will additionally work out well for me since my younger sister is marrying my boss on whom I have a perfectly natural but probably unhealthy crush on, so a career change at this time will almost certainly be helpful in giving me time and space to work through my complex feelings on the subject of their marriage and to dismantle the troublesome crush.

Male Love Interest: Nice one. Weddings aren't my thing, which makes it hard for me to understand why some people spend so much time and effort on them, and in the past this has caused me to say some pretty disparaging things about couples who choose extravagant weddings. But I'm learning to more fully consider other points of view, and I can now respect the fact that having a perfect wedding day is important to some couples, even if it's not what I'd pick for myself. So it's great that you're able to help people get the weddings they want, and I wish you luck in your new career.

Heroine: Thank you.

Male Love Interest: And when you've dismantled that troublesome crush of yours enough that you're ready to consider other guys, would you like to go out with me some time?

Heroine: If you're asking me to date you, then no. I'm aware that I need to get better at asserting my own needs and boundaries, and have made a personal decision not to get involved in any romantic relationships until I've made some progress on that. However, I'd be happy to hang out as friends.

Male Love Interest Friendship Interest: Sounds good to me.

(They proceed to be friends. Said friendship is based on mutual enjoyment of each other's company, with absolutely zero "well maybe if I pretend to be her friend for long enough it'll get me into her panties" behaviour from Male Friendship Interest, because he knows better than to treat Heroine like that. Resultant friendship is presented as a valid happy ending, because romantic relationships are not the only important ones in a person's life)

depizan said...

The amount of money spent on them is breath-taking, and there's this constant undercurrent that this day has to be PERFECT and SPECIAL and EXPENSIVE because it's the ONE DAY that the bride will ever be allowed to have everything to her satisfaction.

That reminded me of an ad for a wedding photographer I heard back when I lived in the midwest. The ad was something along the lines of "Your pictures can be perfect, even if your wedding wasn't." Because, after all, what matters? Looks!

When I heard that ad, I immediately thought of a scene I'd love to see in an adventure or adventure-romance movie. Our heroes are getting ready for their wedding, but duty/adventure/whatever calls and they run off in their finery to get the bad guy or whatever. This leads to them showing up for their wedding a bit beat up and in less than spotless finery. No one cares (beyond friendly concern over whether they're okay) except, since this was prompted by that ad, the wedding photographer, who's horrified. Though...ideally, the wedding photographer would get over their distress and by the end of the wedding be okay with the fact that it's not how it's "supposed" to be. Just like everyone else.

Now...as I'll probably never be writing anything set in "reality" if anybody'd like to steal the idea, have at it.

depizan said...

The amount of money spent on them is breath-taking, and there's this constant undercurrent that this day has to be PERFECT and SPECIAL and EXPENSIVE because it's the ONE DAY that the bride will ever be allowed to have everything to her satisfaction.

That reminded me of an ad for a wedding photographer I heard back when I lived in the midwest. The ad was something along the lines of "Your pictures can be perfect, even if your wedding wasn't." Because, after all, what matters? Looks!

When I heard that ad, I immediately thought of a scene I'd love to see in an adventure or adventure-romance movie. Our heroes are getting ready for their wedding, but duty/adventure/whatever calls and they run off in their finery to get the bad guy or whatever. This leads to them showing up for their wedding a bit beat up and in less than spotless finery. No one cares (beyond friendly concern over whether they're okay) except, since this was prompted by that ad, the wedding photographer, who's horrified. Though...ideally, the wedding photographer would get over their distress and by the end of the wedding be okay with the fact that it's not how it's "supposed" to be. Just like everyone else.

Now...as I'll probably never be writing anything set in "reality" if anybody'd like to steal the idea, have at it.

Lonespark said...

The assumption that it's all Boy Meets Girl etc. implies that it's never meant to be her story, even though it's heavily marketed to women.

I can kind of see this, except in the sense that these are (can be/should be?) fantasies targeted to women, there's something to "the partner will do all the work/is willing to do all this stuff to be with me."

Also, what does Boy Loses Girl entail? I guess in most of the examples I can think of it's something along the lines of "couple breaks up due to doubts about the relationship (often caused by some misunderstanding blown way out of proportion, isn't that hilarious?) misunderstanding is resolved/and/or boy proves himself to girl."

Except now the only thing I can't think of is The Vicar of Dibley, which isn't even a movie... (Are there romantic comedy tv shows? Can it be a kind of sitcom? Or just a sitcom plot? Ack I feel a trip to TV Tropes coming on...)

Lonespark said...

The assumption that it's all Boy Meets Girl etc. implies that it's never meant to be her story, even though it's heavily marketed to women.

I can kind of see this, except in the sense that these are (can be/should be?) fantasies targeted to women, there's something to "the partner will do all the work/is willing to do all this stuff to be with me."

Also, what does Boy Loses Girl entail? I guess in most of the examples I can think of it's something along the lines of "couple breaks up due to doubts about the relationship (often caused by some misunderstanding blown way out of proportion, isn't that hilarious?) misunderstanding is resolved/and/or boy proves himself to girl."

Except now the only thing I can't think of is The Vicar of Dibley, which isn't even a movie... (Are there romantic comedy tv shows? Can it be a kind of sitcom? Or just a sitcom plot? Ack I feel a trip to TV Tropes coming on...)

Zadi said...

Have I mentioned lately that you totally rock?

Your version is infinitely better than the real movie. I used to enjoy 'girly' romcom flicks, but am having a much harder time stomaching all the terrible I somehow hadn't noticed before. Waking up to what's actually going on in the world is complicated.

Zadi said...

Have I mentioned lately that you totally rock?

Your version is infinitely better than the real movie. I used to enjoy 'girly' romcom flicks, but am having a much harder time stomaching all the terrible I somehow hadn't noticed before. Waking up to what's actually going on in the world is complicated.

Frenchroast said...

This reminds me of my best friend's wedding (actual best friend, not the movie)--she stressed out so much about all the details--the flower arrangements, the location, photographs, etc. etc. right down to nearly losing it at the thought that we might not have time to hang mason jars full of flowers off of the chairs that made up the aisle. It was a little scary to see how stressed she was, because she's usually a super easy-going person. We (her bridesmaids and the groomsmen) made it happen, and everything went wonderfully. Later, she told us she never should've worried about any of those details, because she was too busy getting married to remember noticing anything she'd had been stressing about. There was a tiny part of me that was like "are you KIDDING?", but it's hilarious now.

And *shrug* that's what best friends are for. She'd have done all the involved bridesmaid stuff for me if I'd needed it for my wedding. I'm glad I had a small wedding, so all I needed to ask her for was a ride to the church and a quick stop at Arby's on the way. That's a really fun wedding day memory.

Frenchroast said...

This reminds me of my best friend's wedding (actual best friend, not the movie)--she stressed out so much about all the details--the flower arrangements, the location, photographs, etc. etc. right down to nearly losing it at the thought that we might not have time to hang mason jars full of flowers off of the chairs that made up the aisle. It was a little scary to see how stressed she was, because she's usually a super easy-going person. We (her bridesmaids and the groomsmen) made it happen, and everything went wonderfully. Later, she told us she never should've worried about any of those details, because she was too busy getting married to remember noticing anything she'd had been stressing about. There was a tiny part of me that was like "are you KIDDING?", but it's hilarious now.

And *shrug* that's what best friends are for. She'd have done all the involved bridesmaid stuff for me if I'd needed it for my wedding. I'm glad I had a small wedding, so all I needed to ask her for was a ride to the church and a quick stop at Arby's on the way. That's a really fun wedding day memory.

Randomosity said...

I hear you on the stress factor. Not only is the onus on the bride to do all of the planning (in which damn near every wedding etiquette and wedding planning site out there forget there is a groom involved), but if even one person is offended by anything, bothered by anything, or two guests can't stand each other or the food was cold or the minister decided to run off on an inappropriate tangent or thank you notes weren't sent in a timely manner or (insert any of a hundred perceived slights), it's always the bride's fault.

No one suggests that the groom might share some responsibility (the blamers often forget he exists) or even chalk it up to uncontrollable circumstances. Just read most advice columns or etiquette sites to watch this dynamic in action. They even dictate Thou Shalt Have No Themed Weddings (really? One of the most fun weddings I've been to in a long time was a Lord of the Rings themed wedding.)

Randomosity said...

That's my kind of wedding!

Randomosity said...

That's my kind of wedding!

Randomosity said...

Romantic comedies seem to follow the Boy Meets Girl, Boy Loses Girl, Boy Gets Girl story arc instead of Girl Meets Boy, Girl Loses Boy, Girl Gets Boy. Or even Couple Meets, Couple Breaks Up, Couple Reunites with Greater Understanding of their Partners. The assumption that it's all Boy Meets Girl etc. implies that it's never meant to be her story, even though it's heavily marketed to women. We're not protagonists even in stories that are supposed to be about us.

On the other hand, Jane Austen novels were pretty scathing of her culture. Those were squarely in the woman's point of view. Pride and Prejudice has a scene ripping apart the expectation that women aren't allowed to say no to men. Lizzy Bennet gets down and dirty refusing a proposal from her cousin, the inheritor of their estate. He's creepy and just won't accept a no. He assumes every word she speaks is what he wants to hear. She goes from socially-expected indirectness to angry and direct and he keeps refusing to hear the word no. She makes it stick, though, and ends up not having to marry him.

MotherDemeter said...

I have also seen it and a friend of mine has theorized with me that it is more feminist than it seems, though i don't really get it. It is every single romcom trope pushed to the limit which may make it a good choice for deconstruction of the genre as it stands today.

But I am a bit biased because I hate hate hate romcoms that heavily center or feature a wedding because the wedding is always absolutely ridiculously extravagant which causes me anxiety for some reason, and to top it all off almost always gets canceled, often in the middle of it, which means all that stress and fuss and money was for nothing. Movies where the wedding is nice but not over the top and happily goes through are mostly exempt from my bias.

Its funny because I like weddings in real life just fine. And if KH's character had decided that standing up for herself included not continuing to pursue Love Interest or Boss Crush I may have been able to agree with my friend since her character's arch was about learning to say no and set boundaries. All of that falls flat when it is made apparent that her happiness and well being is really from having a man.

ANYWAY (I have talked about this movie before, can you tell?) I definitely like your version better, and sadly there are times that the movie actually seemed to be going that direction, but in the end whatever positive messages there may be are muddled up by overwhelming romcom tropes in action.

Ann Unemori said...

Sorry! I should have realized it was a well-crafted parody. I just meant your ideas on what our heroine was saying are great , it was the delivery that I was puzzled over.
Now I'm musing how to make the statements into believable dialogue, it's still a grand scene.

Ann Unemori said...

Sorry! I should have realized it was a well-crafted parody. I just meant your ideas on what our heroine was saying are great , it was the delivery that I was puzzled over.
Now I'm musing how to make the statements into believable dialogue, it's still a grand scene.

Ionafliesaway said...

Neat post here, Ana. I watch a lot of rom coms, and when I say a lot, I mean A LOT, and 27 dresses was definitely one of the best romance on today’s age story that I have come across. Katherine Heigl looked so fine and all the emotional potpourri was so realistic.

Ionafliesaway said...

Neat post here, Ana. I watch a lot of rom coms, and when I say a lot, I mean A LOT, and 27 dresses was definitely one of the best romance on today’s age story that I have come across. Katherine Heigl looked so fine and all the emotional potpourri was so realistic.

Frenchroast said...

I have seen the movie, and I think I much prefer your version.

Frenchroast said...

I have seen the movie, and I think I much prefer your version.

Nina said...

Also, lol at this bit: "No, you seem like the type who would aggressively argue with and irritatingly play "devil's advocate" about the value of major and deeply personal life decisions with a woman who has recently suffered head trauma."

Nina said...

Also, lol at this bit: "No, you seem like the type who would aggressively argue with and irritatingly play "devil's advocate" about the value of major and deeply personal life decisions with a woman who has recently suffered head trauma."

Nina said...

I like your version! I haven't seen the movie either, but the trailer is a mix of things I like (a woman learning to set boundaries and say no!) and things I don't like (all in a heteronormative setting that sets a woman's worth at her marital status! yuck!). I especially like the idea of her making a career as a wedding planner! Obviously she would be really good at it and I like the idea of her getting paid for the work that she has done for free for so long.

Nina said...

I like your version! I haven't seen the movie either, but the trailer is a mix of things I like (a woman learning to set boundaries and say no!) and things I don't like (all in a heteronormative setting that sets a woman's worth at her marital status! yuck!). I especially like the idea of her making a career as a wedding planner! Obviously she would be really good at it and I like the idea of her getting paid for the work that she has done for free for so long.

Gelliebean said...

Nice! :-D I have not seen the movie but I suspect your re-write is about, oh, three hundred times better.

Gelliebean said...

Nice! :-D I have not seen the movie but I suspect your re-write is about, oh, three hundred times better.

boutet said...

I have seen this. Actually I suspect I saw it in theatre. I suspect it was either with my romantic movie loving friend or I was trying to bond with my sister-in-law. I like your version better.
There were a few "so close!" moments in the movie that were very frustrating.
The main character enters into a physical relationship and no one shames her... until she says something awkward because she feels awkward about it for reasons I can only think are socialized awkwardness. Then she is shamed for making it awkward.
The main character stands up to her sister who has been unbelievably rude and usery! And her family shames her for it.
It was like someone really tried to write a good script with a strong lead and someone came along afterwards and sprinkled on some societal bullshit to make it more like the standard Hollywood fare.
I would have liked the movie better with your ending :)

Aidan Bird said...

I've never actually seen the movie, but your version is just plain awesome in all regards. I'd probably watch your version of it! And I've never been fond of romantic comedies anyway. For one thing it's pretty much all heterosexual relationships, though most are stereotypes and/or not exactly healthy ones to aspire to in the first place. Any non-heterosexual couples are hardly ever in mainstream movies as a protagonist -- though you may see them as a side character -- (and if they are the protagonist, they're often not included in the romantic genre, and instead are shoved into a separate LGBT genre -- which also baffles me. Why not just call the romantic genre, Heterosexual romance then? To be fair). There is a few rare exceptions to this, with one of them being Imagine Me and You (lots of issues there, though it did have a few cute moments). The rest I can think of are pretty much all... indie films or foreign films, and of those, the overwhelming majority is about gay men. Lesbians movies are rarer and often end badly/sadly. Bisexual characters are even rarer -- though one movie where the protagonist was bisexual and actually done well was a Canadian movie called When Night is Falling. When it comes to transgender characters and relationships, it's a train wreck. I don't think I've seen any mainstream movie that doesn't use some awful, awful stereotype. Actually, I don't really think there's any movie I've seen yet that does a decent portrayal of transgender people. These are all reasons why I tend to avoid romantic movies (especially comedies, for it's bound to be the painful type of comedy). Though parodies of romantic movies tend to be pretty awesome -- depending on who is parodying them.

I've always been frustrated with the stereotype that you are somehow less of a person if you don't find someone to marry. Why is our society obsessed with this idea that we are incomplete until we find someone? I'm complete right now, and I'm not with anyone romantically.

Ann Unemori said...

Dialogue's a wee bit clunky, though I do get your point.

Ice said...

If romcoms were more like this and less how they usually are, I would be much more inclined to watch them, y'know, ever...

Two thumbs ups!

Ice said...

If romcoms were more like this and less how they usually are, I would be much more inclined to watch them, y'know, ever...

Two thumbs ups!

Will Wildman said...

I do want to redeem the romcom somehow. The last concept a friend and I considered working with was a zomromcom, a zombie apocalypse movie in which the heroine is a member of a survivor camp inside a college campus and has to decide what to do with/about the affections of various fellow survivor dudes (ranging from the thoughtful tailor and the benevolent mechanic to the flirtatious paramedic and the manic pixie music student and on to the hideous romcom standbys of the jerk-with-a-heat-of-gold security guard, and her ex-boyfriend who is convinced that their being thrown together by the end of the world is proof that they are fated to be together (he basically thinks he's in a romcom)). The idea overall was to tear apart the sexist aspects of romcoms while still crafting a story about people finding someone who's right for them. While simultaneously hacking through hordes of the living dead and trying to rebuild the world.

It was hard to find the right tone to strike. Originally I wanted to play it totally serious, but over time my friend has convinced me that it needs to be kind of ridiculous to work.

Anyway, the rewrite Ana gives here would totally fit in the kind of story we want to put together, so I bet this is going to be a great series.

Dav said...

Ha!

When I think of the romantic comedy genre, I get very sad and angry, because it *could* be awesome, but the genre expectations are usually a giant pit of misogyny and awfulness. (It's true for most "comedy" movies in general, and many romances, but the Venn diagram of ick is kind of horrifying.)

I have fun predicting movie arcs from the Netflix descriptions, which are usually only a sentence or two. There is often a lot of WTF.

Lonespark said...

Yay.
I never heard of this movie.
My household owns one romantic comedy, which I did not buy: The Ugly Truth. It...could be worse?
Oh, I guess The 40 Yr Old Virgin counts, too? I didn't buy that one either, but man, I love Katherine Keener's character.

Lonespark said...

Yay.
I never heard of this movie.
My household owns one romantic comedy, which I did not buy: The Ugly Truth. It...could be worse?
Oh, I guess The 40 Yr Old Virgin counts, too? I didn't buy that one either, but man, I love Katherine Keener's character.

Post a Comment