Metapost: Wits End

I am sitting at my desk crying right now.

Blogging is such an important part of my life, but I can't even look at the new Blogger interface without it physically hurting.

Even writing this stupid post hurts. It hurts my eyes and my head and I don't know what to do. I feel so lost and upset and angry. Do you know that Google did not even email us to warn that this would happen this week? You can't sign up for Blogger without an email address. They could have told me in advance. They didn't bother. And now my head hurts and I don't know what to do to fix all this.

I've spent most of the day looking for Blogger alternatives. Many of them aren't easy to migrate to. Not all of them support Disqus. Most of them charge real world money for things Blogger offered for free -- like the ability to use the custom domain that I own. Most of them are apparently deeply insecure to hacking and DOS attacks.

Even WordPress, I think. I can't be sure. I can't figure WordPress out, I can't work out how to change the template to anything even remotely resembling the one we have. The template I spent so much time on. That I love so dearly. That makes my site look like mine. Gods, I know it seems like such a stupid thing, like a truly classic "first world problem" of zero magnitude whatsoever, but this was my space and now it hurts me to be in it. I feel like I can't even breathe, that's how lost I feel right now.

I have searched high and low for a way to make my blog useable. I can't find a Stylish plugin that would fix all this. I can hardly find any that don't also change how the front page looks to me. It seems like no matter what I do, I've lost my blog, the way it looks and feels. Two years worth of work. Over a thousand posts. More wonderful comments than I can count. I survived a surgery with this blog. I don't know how I can do this. I don't know what I should do.

I have to walk away from this for the moment. I have to ... figure out how to fix this some how. But I feel so helpless at the moment.

I'm so damn tired of living with a disability. Someone parked in my assigned medical parking today and I had to walk all the way from the non-medical lot. I was so hurt and sore when I got to my desk and all I could do this afternoon was cry because I am so fucking sick of this body I didn't ask for. I try not to be that way. I try not to think that way. I try to remind myself how lucky I am.

But I didn't want ... the last thing I needed today, was to have one more disability dropped onto me. Whether it's something wrong with my eyes or something wrong with my brain, I didn't need for my one truly safe space to turn around and hurt me. 


Asha said...


Ana Mardoll said...

Thank you.

The closest thing I've found to a solution is something called StyleBot on Chrome ( ). Someone on the Google forums managed to use it to get this screenshot.

However, since I do not speak CSS, I have not been able to have much luck with it. I sent him a cold email begging for his code and am now praying to whatever unholy gods have dominion over Google that he will take pity on me.

Kaoru Negisa said...

*huge hugs* I wish there was more I could do. I hope Stylebot or something works out. I've written four sentences here to try to say something, but they all sound condescending or abilist or inappropriate or like some useless platitude, so please accept my heartfelt hopes for an outcome that doesn't make you cry.

GeniusLemur said...

I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you'll be able to keep blogging.
For the moment, fuzzy lemur!

Antigone10 said...

I wanted to register a complaint on your behalf, but I can't even find the place to email it to. The best I could find was adding things to the forums. :( Sorry.

Nicole J. LeBoeuf-Little said...


I wish I had something more useful to contribute.

Patrick said...

I tweeted @blogger, but they haven't tweeted anything in a month. I don't have time until Monday, but then I could take a look at Wordpress tweaking. I don't know how adaptable the blogs are, though. I host Wordpress off-site and have quite the flexibility.

As I said, Monday. You can reach me at the mail address I used.

Loquat said...

I'm messing around with StyleBot right now to see if I can come up with anything helpful for you. Preliminary results are looking promising, though I think I'll have to sign up for Blogger to really put something together you can use. Will do that in the morning, unless someone else pops in with a solution while I'm sleeping.

Also - any additional changes you'd like made besides reduction of whitespace? Colors, fonts, etc?

Lily said...

*hugs* I'm sorry, Ana. I know to some extent how you feel. Is there any way you could change the settings somehow to get the whitespace to go away?


Jules said...

Hi Ana,
I mostly lurk these days and read blogs on Google Reader, but I wanted to say that your writing means a lot to me and I really appreciate your posts - in any format. I'm sorry you're having a rough time.
Good vibes over the intertubes from a stranger friend in London,

Isator Levi said...

I too have often found it irritating when Internet things are changed, with notice or not, but never for a reason as severe as it aggravating a physical condition.

You have my sympathy, and I wish you luck in finding a solution that works for you.

Yamikuronue said...

If you'd like some help with Wordpress, drop me a line. To get customization to the level you want you'll probably have to host your own Wordpress instance, but I'd totally be willing to set that up for you, since I'm comfortable with the technical side of things. only allows a handful of preset themes.

Yamikuronue said...

I also know CSS -- if you want to send me more details I can probably help with that.

Kirala said...

*hugs* This is horrible. Dear goodness, even without a literal headache that new interface is making me feel unsettled. (It's staring at me... hellllp...) And it's wrong when programs control your space without your permission when personalizing ought to be fairly simple. (At least, I assume that if Google Sites can have fifty umptillion templates that can be custom-changed, it ought to be fairly simple to allow tweaks to the blogging platform.)

Here's hoping that Loquat's solution works. Because composing in a different space and getting someone else to post for you is a workaround no one should have to use. Finding a different platform is scarcely better.

*hugs again*

chris the cynic said...

I don't know what to say. Well, I wrote a post saying, "Fuck you, blogger," but that's not going to help you any, and I'd like to help you feel better in some way. The situation sucks, and I hope someone can find a way to help you.

And I was wrong before, it does cause me pain too. Just not as much or as quickly, I guess.

When did they go from "Don't be evil" to "We've found a way to cause physical pain to our users, lets inflict it upon them"?

redcrow said...

Many, many virtual hugs.

chris the cynic said...

Yes, how could I forget the hugs. Hugs. As many as you need or want.

Thomas Keyton said...


Matt Smyczynski said...

I'd like to add my name to the Goblet of People Who Are Willing to Help You Out With WordPress. I'm off work next week, so I have all kinds of time.

depizan said...

*many hugs*

I wish I knew of some way to help, but I'm afraid my knowledge of internet stuff amounts to *click on Firefox icon*.

Tigerpetals said...


Hope someone can help you out.

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