Random Poetry Saturday!

Last one before we go back to a normal schedule!  (Probably!)

...Everything in this poem is 100% true :P

My lumpy bumpy nose.

No one in my family has one like it.

It’s all mine.

It starts out normal, then flattens out about a quarter of the way down.

Then after that it bends down at an angle.  


It’s not too obvious from the front.

From the side it looks like a jagged rock.

Or a cliff face.

Or a bent tree.

My mother thinks maybe I ran into a tree, or a wall or a shelf, once when I was really little and smushed it.

Maybe when I was too young to remember.

Maybe they thought I was crying about something else.

My dad says it’s a witch nose and it makes me look like a witch.

He says I need a cat and a cauldron and a broom.

He says he’ll let me know if the local theatre ever does Macbeth.

(It’s ok.  He only says it to make me laugh.  And my laugh sounds like a witch’s cackle, so it all works out.)

My husband’s nose isn’t bumpy at all.

It’s straight and strong and handsome and it looks really good on his face.

Except that sometimes he can’t breathe too good through it.

And he snores really loud at night.

(I don’t snore.)

Sometimes I imagine that it was broken once and now the lumpiness is a battle scar.

Like maybe I used to be a street samurai in an all-girls biker gang.

Or a world-famous gladiator adored by the crowds.

Or a pirate brave and bold.

Or a mercenary, and maybe I was hired to protect a city from the vicious barbarians invaders.

Maybe they offered us a hundred thousand gold pieces to keep them safe, because they were so scared, 

but we said “There’s women and children in that city!  We’ll fight for half-price!”

And we drove off the barbarians, but during the final battle their chieftain bashed me in the face with his shield while I was protecting our captain.

And that’s how I got my nose.

My lumpy bumpy nose.
...I swear I DO usually write poetry that rhymes and has scansion, I just couldn't find any on my computer this week!
Once again!  Share!  If you write poetry, show some off - any kind, sonnets, haiku, dirty limericks (just mind the safe space!)... heck, clean limericks, if you know any!  Or even if you just know a cool poem, post it or link to it (but please cite the poet!)
~ Kristycat


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